


Ungodly

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe, Angst, Canon, Child Abuse, Drama, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Points of View, Romance, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-08-31
Updated: 2005-10-07
Packaged: 2018-12-27 04:36:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 30,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12073650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Line:' He has fucking nice hands and Iâ€™m sure he can do amazing things with those long, graceful fingers.'Church camp - homosexual happenings at said church camp - much, much more.  What's not to like?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

2 Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth.  
 **Song of Solomon, Vs. 2**

 

::::::

 

J.T

I hate church. I’ve hated it ever since my parents first brought me when I was thirteen. I especially hated it when the pastor would go on his rants about homosexuality and how disgustingly wrong it was. How it was a sin. A disruption to all humanity. I swear, spit flew out of his mouth whenever he slapped out a spew of words and verses from ‘The Bible’ that clearly stated that man on man action was wrong. It got fucking irritating.

 

But I sat there like the good boy I was, hands folded on my lap, eyes forced open and trying not to shut and let me fall asleep, and my disgusted looks kept inside my mind. After all, my parents loved me and loved the fact that I was as straight as a board. Oh, boy, how they don’t know their own son. I’ve had to live through this…pathetic hiding and church going _forever_. Now that I’m seventeen it’s more then a little unbearable. Sitting in the uncomfortable hard pew waiting for the sermon to be over.

 

But it doesn’t end there.

 

No, first my parents have to wait for everyone to file out of the sanctuary so they can proceed to where the pastor stands, shaking people’s hands on the way out. I’ll always smile and nod when my mother tells him what a fantastic sermon he had told today. Inside I would be disgusted, saying every curse word I could think of, and praying to the God that this man spoke of to let me out of this church as fast as possible. The dress clothes my parents made me wear were unbearably hot and fucking uncomfortable.

 

So, I figure this Sunday won’t be any different from any other Sunday.

 

Except it _is_.

 

Not only did my parents drive to church earlier today so I could enjoy Sunday school with other teens my age, other _straight_ teens, but they also signed me up for a week long church camp that our church held every summer for the kids that attended the church. Fuck that. Of course I couldn’t tell them I couldn’t go. I had to go. It was an obligation that I maintained a church-going, good boy, trophy Christian boy look. Who was I to let my parents down? I didn’t argue when they told me about the camp – Word of Life camp. That’s what it’s called. Fucking lame if you ask me. – But I did grimace and push out a loud disappointed sigh.

 

Jennifer and Craig both ignored me.

 

But something else is different today. There’s a new face. A new fuckin’ hot face I might add. He looks older then me, not by much though. He looks like he just rolled out of bed without running a brush through his hair. He doesn’t need to. His hair is perfect. Chestnut. It looks soft and I have the brief thought of running my fingers through it. It’s not short but it isn’t long either. My eyes move from his hair to his face. He’s a fucking God – Smooth bronze skin, burning hazel eyes, perfect sculpted lips. I dub this teen as my fucking God.

 

The guy in the sky that I’ve learned about all these years probably doesn’t look nearly as godly as this boy does. He’s not sitting too far away from me – a few seats down and he hasn’t noticed my eyes on him yet. I continue to let them explore, spoil themselves with his vision. When they fall across his hands resting on his lap – He’s slouching lazily in his chair with a bored expression on his face. A sexy bored expression. – My brain goes haywire. He has fucking nice hands and I’m sure he can do amazing things with those long, graceful fingers.

 

My eyes fly back to his face and I nearly jump out of my skin when his eyes meet mine head on. Cheeks flushing with embarrassment I turn away using my shaggy blond hair to hide my red cheeks and shocked eyes. I slouch in my seat with one arm crossed over my chest and my other hand twirling my hair around nervously. I can’t believe he caught me staring. Checking him out and I was being quiet obvious about it too. _Dammit_. Then our teacher stands up in the middle of the classroom and begins speaking about today’s lesson.

 

I zone out.

 

I don’t look back over at the brunet though. I wouldn’t dare.

 

Instead I sit there and pretend like I’m listening. Suddenly, the teacher’s looking right at me. Had he asked me a question? Fuck! Like I had been listening. I open my mouth to speak, to say anything but what can I say? “What?” Yeah, you go Taylor. How fucking intelligent. The youth teacher smiles encouragingly. “I asked you if you had any prayer request you’d like to share with the others so we can pray for you…” I raise an eyebrow. Fuck I did. I shake my head, snort and a smirk falls on my lips.

 

“Fuck. _No_.”

 

Everyone gasps. Shit. I hadn’t meant to say it out loud. The man’s mouth hangs open slightly and he looks like he’s been offended. I sit up in my seat. Dammit. I am so fucked. This is going to get around to my parents and they’re going to freak. “Oops…did I say that out loud?” I continue to smirk and act like I had said the horrible curse words on purpose. Damn – and in front of all these virgin ears too. How fucking horrible of me. The teacher shakes his head, hand running furiously through his short red hair. It occurs to me that he has fucking ugly hair. 

 

“Who are you again?”

 

Of course he doesn’t know me yet. After all, it’s my first day in an actual Sunday school class. 

 

“Justin Taylor.”

 

“Mr. Taylor, I think you should step outside of the room for a moment.”

 

I shake my head.

 

“I’m perfectly fine here. Now, go on so I can learn _more_ about God.”

 

He looks appalled and I wonder where this act of rebellion has come from. I’m fucking myself over. My parents are going to fucking flip when they find out about this. I slouch back down in my chair, cross my arms over my chest and the man hesitantly goes to the next person and asks them if they have any prayer request. The girl responds with a positive, curse word free answer. I roll my eyes and slouch even lower. I wipe the palms of my hands on my faded blue jeans. I took it upon myself this morning to dress in whatever the fuck I wanted for church. Craig and Jennifer had been irate.

 

I got my way anyway. Somehow.

 

As soon as everyone gives their prayer requests to the teacher (The brunet had answered with a snort of his own and then a flat out “no.”) we were dismissed to leave and head on over to the sanctuary for the third service. There were three services in the sanctuary. One at eight in the morning, the second service at nine and the third service at ten. It ended at twelve. Sighing, I shove my hands into the pockets of my jeans and scurry out of the room before the teacher whatever the fuck his name is can pull me aside me and tell me I should ask God for forgiveness for using such profanity in his house.

 

“Taylor!”

 

An unfamiliar voice calls my name and I cease my walking and look over my shoulder. Fucking shit. The brunet. He just called me and now he’s walking towards me with a smirk on his face. His own hands are stuffed into the pockets of a black hooded jacket he’s wearing and I wish he wouldn’t hide them under the fabric because his hands are beautiful. I frown and turn around. I don’t run away ‘cause I don’t want to look like even more of an idiot. I shift on my Converse clad feet and watch as the brunet comes closer and closer and then he's right fucking there.

 

And he smells really good.

 

There is the faint scent of smoke, chocolate and musk. It's intoxicating.

 

“Yeah?”

 

I raise an eyebrow up at the brunet. It’s now that I realize how tall he is. He’s fucking towering over me. “I just came to make sure you were positive about not having any prayer requests ‘cause I think it’s really important that you share them so everyone can pray as a huge group effort.” I smile ‘cause I’m sure he’s joking. There’s an amused smile in his eyes and the same playful smirk on his fucking kissable lips. “As I said before: fuck no.” He chuckles, deep and throaty and…sexy. Fuck him for being so perfect. And it’s a pity that he’s, most likely, straight. I shift slightly and then I decide it can’t hurt to invite him to church with me. At least I won’t have to sit with my parents.

 

“Comin’ to church?”

 

“Unfortunately.”

 

“Me too.”

 

I’m usually talkative too. Daphne, my best-friend, is usually begging me to shut up. Now I can’t get a word out without feeling my cheeks heat up and looking down at the ground every two seconds. “I’ll sit with you.” Good thing one of us said something ‘cause I sure as hell wasn’t going to be able to get it out. I smile up at him and nod. “Alright, sure. Let’s go.” He walks right next to me. His arm or hip brush lightly against mine a few times but I’m sure it’s on accident because this boy is obviously straight. I don’t know why I think he’s straight but, I mean, he has to be. I’m sure I’m the only gay person in our church.

 

It’s only when we’re sitting in a pew on the balcony in the very back that he speaks again.

 

“Goin’ to that ‘Word of Life’ camp?”

 

I groan in agony, quietly so I don’t disturb the others in the pews around us.

 

“I’m being forced with a gun held against my head. You?”

 

“Yeah. My parents will look for any excuse to get rid of me for a little while.”

 

I raise an eyebrow over at him.

 

“Are you serious?”

 

“Yeah. They love gettin’ me out of the house.”

 

“Oh.”

 

Oh? _OH_! That’s all you have to say? I look away from him and think about my own home life. My mother loves me, I know that. I’m like the apple of her eye or whatever-the-fuck. My dad on the other hand…he never misses out on a chance to complain about the fact that I never involve myself in any outdoor activities. That’s the only reason he enrolled me in this camp with the church. Because there are going to be outdoor activities all the fucking time. I wasn’t looking forward to it at all. I’m sure he loves me though even if he never says it and even if he never expresses any good feelings towards me. I can’t imagine my parents sending me away to a camp just to get rid of me for a week though. I look back over at him, top teeth gnawing at my bottom lip.

 

“…I’m sorry.”

 

He shrugs uncaringly.

 

“I don’t care. I like to get out of the fuckin’ house.”

 

“Are they really that bad?”

 

I’m more curious then anything. Curious to know the things they say to him, to know if it’s worst then what my father says to me sometimes. To know if he gets any love or affection at all. He meets my gaze. His eyes are slightly tortured all of the sudden; pained. “Yes.” His answer is terse and it clearly states that this discussion is over. I nod and look away. I respect him for wanting to keep his life private but now I’m more curious then I was a few seconds ago. A part of me is concerned too. A few seconds later I feel his gaze land on me again.

 

“Why are you goin’ to camp?”

 

“My parents think it’ll be a good influence on my faith.”

 

I’m dead serious. They also said they wanted me to go because they thought it would be a fun experience – Meeting and befriending other Christian kids my age and actually having a social life. That’s what my dad had said. He chuckles and suddenly I’m aware of something. I have no idea who the fuck I’m talking to. I have no idea what his name is. I look over at him, eyebrow raised. “Were you planning on telling me your name anytime soon?” He grins and shrugs. “You didn’t ask.” I roll my eyes. “Well, I’m talking to you so I think I have every right to know your name. Plus, you know mine.”

 

“Brian Kinney.”

 

“Justin Taylor.”

 

He smirks.

 

“I know.”

 

“I know you know but I’m trying to be all formal about it. Now I’m going to shake your hand.”

 

It’s just an excuse to touch his beautiful hand. To see at least one of them again. Grinning, I hold out my hand and he slowly pulls one of his out of his jacket and then clasps his hand around mine. The touch goes straight to my cock and I try not to concentrate on how fucking perfect his hand fits around my smaller one and how the contrasts of our skin is a fucking turn on and how much I want this person to fuck my virginity off the planet. I quickly let go as if his touch burned me and, in a way, it did.

 

My hand and whole arm is tingling and my fingers are burning.

 

My cheeks are heating up too.

 

I look away from his before he can catch a glimpse of my pink cheeks but I realize that it’s probably too late for that. I hope he doesn’t catch on though. I hope he doesn’t realize how fucking hot he’s making me. The rest of the service we throw little paper wads at random people’s heads, get dragged out of the church by an usher and we wait outside for the service to end so our parents can come out and find out how disrespectful we were being during church. When mine come out they look at me disappointedly, don’t say a word, and, with their eyes tell me to get my ass to the car. I smile over at Brian and offer him a small wave over my shoulder. He offers me a ‘see ya’ and I have a feeling that no matter how long my parents are going to chew me out I’ll still be happy.

 

Because I saw the face of God in church today.

::::::

 

B.K

I watch the blond disappear, his form getting smaller and smaller as he walks further and further away with his parents. He’s the most fucking beautiful kid I’ve ever seen in my life and my first thought when I first laid eyes on him was: ‘ _God, I have to fuck him_.’ He only made me want to fuck him more when I had caught him staring at me, blatantly checking me out. And when he looked away from me startled. When he had cursed shamelessly in ‘Sunday School Class’. His bright smile when straight to my needy cock.

 

God, he was fucking beautiful.

 

Shiny and shaggy blond hair that fell across his face and eyes giving him a ‘I’m sexy without even trying’ look. His full, pink lips that had been begging me all through the church service to kiss them. His cute – Yes, I said cute – nose and his eyes. Oh, fuck, his eyes. Innocent but not innocent at the same time, a dark swirling color of blue and a darker shade of blue. His long black lashes that, when he closes his eyes while laughing, brush across his blushing cheeks. I want him. I need him. I want to fuck him so bad.

 

I’m pulled out of my thoughts when Joan, the frigid bitch that popped me out, stalks out of the church with a pissy expression on her face. “What did you do this time, Brian?” I shake my head and don’t answer. She frowns disdainfully at me and I follow her to her car. Jack, of course stayed home today. He never comes to church. He sits in front of the TV, drinks until he can’t think coherently and waits for us to come home. When he finds out that I’ve been bad at church he’ll beat me. But, even if I had been good, he would’ve done so anyway. Fucking bastard. 

 

I’m actually glad I’m going to this lame ass church camp for a week.

 

**Anything** to get away from him and my un-motherly mother.

 

The drive home is silent except for Joan muttering things under her breath and touching her cross necklace every five seconds. She’s probably praying for me and my wrong-doing. Begging God to forgive me for all my sins and getting kicked out of church. And, just like I predicted, when we got home Jack doesn't miss a chance to bruise my already bruised skin after Joan tells him what happened today. He laughs, beats me and drinks more beer. Fucking alcoholic bastard.

* * *

**Author’s Note** : It’s true – the church I attend does really do a camp called ‘Word of Life’ camp where you go out in the wilderness, stay in cabins, and partake in outdoor activities. I’ve never gone to said camp ‘cause I really don’t want to. And, yes, my church has three services and all that jazz. So that’s the part that’s based off real life events. Nothing else.


	2. Ungodly

  


15 How beautiful you are, my darling!   
Oh, how beautiful!  
 **Song of Solomon. Ch. 1 – Vs 15**

 

:::::::::::

J.T

**Today** : Tuesday. First day of camp.

 

I’m all packed and ready to go on this trip. And get it fucking over with. _Then_ I remember that a certain “face of God” is going on the trip too and my spirits are suddenly lifted. At least I’ll have something extremely nice to look at the entire time and someone fun to talk to. Yawning, I was forced to wake up at four this morning to make it to the bus on time, I get out of my moms car. “Have a good time, Sweetie.” I roll my eyes. “I’m _sure_ I will. Church camp is something I’ve been lookin’ forward to forever.” She ignores my sarcasm.

“Make sure you call as soon as you get there so I know you’re safe.”

“I already said I would, mom.”

“Make sure to drink lots of-”

“Water. Got it. I’m _seventeen_. I’ll be fine. I’m sure God will protect me too.”

She narrows her eyes at me. Whenever I make a crack like that she gets all ‘narrowed-eyed’ and pissy. I smile softly at her. I owe her this much. “Love you, mom.” Her narrowed eyes immediately become normal, soft and maybe slightly teary. I hate it when she cries. Especially over stupid things like this. “I love you too, honey. Be safe.” I nod and tell her that I’ll be safe. I grab my bags out of the backseat, shut the door and she drives off, a few tears running down her face. Mothers and their ‘unable to let go’ tendencies.

 

Taking a deep breath, I sling a few of my bags over my shoulders and head towards the large charter bus sitting in front of the church. A bunch of other teens are already there talking amongst themselves. Probably about church group and how they can kill all the homosexuals in the universe so they can make the world a better and cleaner place. I scowl at the thought and shove past them not bothering to say sorry for bumping into them and sit down on a bench several feet away from all the church lovers. Fuck them. I set all my luggage down at my feet and then pull my knees to my chest. My arms wrap around my legs and my chin rests on my knees.

I anxiously wait for Brian.

I haven’t seen him since Sunday. That was two fucking days ago.

“Hey, Taylor.”

I don’t know what happened but I think I fell asleep with my head on knees because my eyes had been closed and I hadn’t heard or noticed anyone coming over to the bench I was sitting on. Startled slightly, my head shoots up off my knees and my unfocused eyes look at the blob standing in front of me. The tall blob that must be Brian. My stomach gives me a few somersaults and my heart beats a little faster. My cheeks also start to heat up and I know they’re turning pink. I’m thankful that it’s so early that it’s still dark out. As soon as my eyes focus I beam up at him.

“Brian!”

God. I probably sound so stupid. And look stupid. I immediately subdue my smile as to not seem so excited to see him even though it’s too late for that. He smiles amusedly down at me and settles down next to me. “Mind if I sit here?” I raise an eyebrow. “You’re already sitting so why bother asking?” Yes, you can sit there you fucker. He grins and makes himself comfortable, his feet propped up on his bags, which lay down on the ground next to mine. “I’ll take that as a yes.” I smile and nod.

“Yeah.”

I am a fucking **dork**.

I’m smiling like an idiot and…yeah. Dork.

“Excited for camp?”

I roll my eyes.

“Yeah, that’ll be the day.”

“You know…we could run. Right now. Just skip this fucking camp thing.”

Part of me wants to tell him ‘yes, please take me with you’ but I shake my head, letting a laugh slide out of my lips. He can’t be serious anyway. “We don’t have any money.” He smirks. “We can sell ourselves on the street. I hear they make good money.” I wrinkle my nose in disgust and shake my head. “ _Gross_. I’d rather not sell my body to gross, dirty, old me-” I suddenly stop talking. Fuck. I wasn’t supposed to practically blurt out that I’m gay! Now he’ll probably run off afraid that I have some crush on him, even though I do but that’s beside the point, and tell everyone that there’s a fag in their midst. 

I look away from him, teeth gnawing on my bottom lip again. Fuck.

:::::::::::

B.K

He’s asleep.

How the fuck does one fall asleep on a hard, uncomfortable bench in _that_ position? I smirk down at the blond head and set my things down on the ground. When he wakens I almost pounce on him and fuck him right here on this bench. That’d be hot. He looks so fucking eatable right now. How does one manage to look so good this early in the morning? I don’t know but what I do know is that I’m going to make this blond mine before this camp week's over. I’m going to fuck him everywhere at camp. Christen every fucking thing at the campsite. I’m sure God will love it.

And then he does that thing with his nose.

He wrinkles it and it’s…cute I will grudgingly admit.

“ _Gross_. I’d rather not sell my body to gross, dirty, old me-”

He notices his slip up. He’s probably freaking out right now. I grin and slouch down on the bench, shoving my hands into my pockets. “Not all of them are old, dirty and gross. I’m sure there are some young, hot studs just _waitin_ ’ for a hot blond with a nice ass.” He looks over at me, unsure look on his face and, even in the dark, I can see his cheeks are as red as can be. He looks slightly shocked now as if what I said had just registered and then he’s looking away again. Probably to hide his darkening cheeks. I chuckle and look over towards the bus where the Sunday school teacher from Sunday – Someone called him Marcus – stood next to the large bus with a clipboard in hand.

“We should probably go over there now. Looks like he’s taking roll.”

In a flash the two of us are standing in front of Marcus with all our bags in tow. “Brian Kinney.” I nod and Marcus flashes me a quick, warm smile. I don’t offer him one back. “Do you have a partner, Brian? A friend who you’ll be assigned to bunk with, eat with, and do everything with for the week?” I smirk. Maybe camp wouldn’t be so bad after all. I quickly nod and bump casually into Justin next to me. “Yeah, Justin Taylor.” Marcus obviously remembers the disturbance on Sunday from said blond. I can tell by the troubled look on the man’s face. Marcus just nods, though, and writes it down on the clipboard.

“Ok, get in the bus. All the way to the back guys.”

We leave our bags outside as instructed so Marcus can haul them into the chambers under the bus and I lead Justin and me into the bus. We head all the way to the back like Marcus told us too. “You want the window seat?” Justin shrugs and then nods. I could really care or less about where I sit. As soon as he’s seated I sit down next to him with a small smile. He’s still not speaking to me and his cheeks are _still_ a dark shade of pink and I may be forced to fuck him right here on the bus with him looking all flushed like that. I nudge my shoulder against his to get his attention. It works.

He stares over at me timidly, teeth tugging at his bottom lip again.

I hate it when he does that. Only because it draws attention to his lips, which is really fucking annoying when you’re using all your self-control to not lunge at him in front of all these Bible thumpers. “Are you ok?” He quickly nods, furiously so that his hair flies out in different directions. It looks like he’s trying to convince more then just me. Probably himself. I grin and shrug. “Whatever you say.” He looks away again and out the window. I hope he’s not this silent the entire trip or I may have to strangle him. The only reason I had been looking forward to this trip is because he is on it and now he’s being quiet.

A few minutes after the bus starts I glance over at him. His breathing has slowed and evened out into a steady rhythm that’s kind of calming. He has fallen asleep but I don’t understand how anyone could fall asleep with their face pressed up against glass like that. “Justin.” I place a hand on his shoulder and shake him awake while my other hand folds the armrest between us up and out of the way. His face, eyes still closed, turns towards me. “What?” He sounds hot, all drowsy and husky like that. “Here.” I thrust the pillow at him that I brought with me on board. I watch as he folds himself up into a tight ball, mesmerized at how he can fit himself all up in the seat like that.

His knees are folded against his chest with the pillow held in his arms. He’s half-asleep while doing all of this too, which makes me all the more intrigued. His head tilts back on the seat in another uncomfortable position and I take advantage of his sleepiness by pulling his head over onto my shoulder, my arm across his shoulders. I recline both our seats and I rest my head on top of his, his hair tickling my chin but I don’t dare move and maybe wake him, and quickly fall asleep. Good thing everyone on the bus thinks we’re straight or they’d get the right impression of why my arm’s around him.

:::::::::::

J.T

When I wake up I’m slightly confused. I don’t remember digging my face into Brian’s chest. He must’ve reclined our seats back at some point – God bless the fucking awesome charter buses – and let me get comfortable on him. Then I remember. Brian’s gay. Well, that’s what he had pretty much implied this morning. He had said I had a nice ass anyway, which was a great compliment. I took great pride in my ass. I smile slightly and close my eyes again, breathing in deep the familiar smell of Brian. The hand resting on his clothed stomach curls into the fabric. It’s then that I remember we’re on a bus with other people who might get the wrong/right idea about this scene.

My eyes fly open and I yank my head off of Brian’s still sleeping body.

My abrupt moment causes him to awaken slightly though. I let out a sigh of relief when I realize no one’s even paying attention to us. Some of the other kids are sleeping too, heads nestled against each other. So maybe we hadn’t looked that odd sleeping next to each other like that. Relaxing slightly, I rest my head back on Brian’s chest, fingers curling back into the fabric of his shirt again. I feel Brian’s arm tighten around my form and his own fingers grip tightly to the back of my neck, fingers beginning to knead against my skin in a slow massage before they trail upwards into my hair where they begin to play with it.

I let out a long, content sigh and snuggle – What the fuck am I doing snuggling against another male on a bus full of fag haters? - against his body. I still feel extremely drowsy and so I blame my actions on that. Then I think about something else. Wouldn’t it look odd to anyone if they looked back here and saw Brian playing with my hair? Straight guys don’t play with other straight guy’s hair! I slowly lift myself away from him, positioning my chair upright again and rub my tired eyes. “Good afternoon, princess.” I roll my eyes over at Brian. Princess? _As if_. Ok, I’m not exactly a masculine male but…ok. Fine. Princess it is.

“Are we almost there?”

I watch Brian as he swings his seat upright again. He raises an eyebrow up at me. “Do I look like the bus driver to you?” I roll my eyes and cross my arms over my chest. “I was just asking. No need to unleash the sarcasm.” He smirks and stretches his arms over his head. I quickly look out the window to avoid looking at the patch of skin on his taut stomach that's revealed as he does so. And the trail of dark hairs teasing into his jeans. Fucktard. He so knows what he’s doing. He lets out a loud yawn and I continue to stare out the window.

“Fine, I’ll go ask since it’s so important to you and because Marcus hates you.”

I grin. “He doesn’t hate me. That would be a sin.” He snorts, doesn’t reply, and gets up out of his seat, long limbs stretching before heading down to the front of the bus. The first thing I notice as he walks away is: damn, his pants are fucking tight. I tell my eyes not to stare at his ass as he strides confidently down the aisle towards Marcus but they don’t listen. Oh, they stare long and hard. It’s only when Brian’s done talking to Marcus and he’s turning around do I look away and return my gaze to the window and look at the passing scenery. I look over when I hear him sit down next to me again.

“So?”

He raises an eyebrow.

“So what?”

“ _So_ , are we almost there?”

He’s being difficult on purpose – fucker. He grins.

“Oh, that. Yeah. We’ll be there in half an hour.”

“That’s not ‘ _almost_ there’!”

I realize I’m whining but my ass hurts from sitting so long. He rolls his eyes, smirking at me. “You’re such a whiner.” I cross my arms over my chest and…pout. “I’m not a whiner. I’m just tired of sitting.” He looks at me still clearly amused. “You are too and if you’re so tired of sitting then the most logical thing to do would be to _stand up_.” He has a very valid point. Why hadn’t I thought about that myself? Not replying, I throw the pillow I’m holding at him and stand up, stretching and I groan; content. My entire body is sore but it immediately subsides as I stretch my arms above my head as far as they’ll go and stretch every other muscle in my body. Everything would’ve been fine too if the bus hadn’t suddenly gone over a huge bump, which, in turn, causes the entire bus to jolt forward. 

_That_ causes me to fall over.

On Brian’s lap, which, I’ll admit, I don’t mind.

And I didn’t go down quietly either. My mouth had let out a loud yelp in the process, which caused everyone to look to the back of the bus and at the clumsy blond kid. I wonder what they’re all thinking when they see me with my arm draped across Brian’s shoulders and my ass sitting in his lap, one of Brian’s arms around my waist. It had kept me from falling backwards and doing a backwards somersault off of his lap and onto the aisle of the bus. A few kids roll their eyes, others laugh, and Marcus shakes his head, which clearly shows his dislike for me. I scowl but my scowl is quickly turned into a smile at Brian’s voice.

“You’re such a disruption.”

“I didn’t fall on purpose.”

Though…I probably would have at some point.

“I bet.”

His answer causes my cheeks to go into ‘Turning Pink’ mode and I quickly pick myself up off his lap, tripping over my own feet, and then proceeding to fall into my own seat. By the time I’m situated correctly in my seat he’s laughing at me. I roll my eyes and shoot him a ‘Ha, ha not very funny’ look. “Shut up, Brian!” He quickly clamps his mouth shut, amusement showing loud and clear on his face and in his eyes. I roll my own eyes again but smile slightly. I’m about to say something until, quite suddenly, the teens who are in the church choir burst out in song. 

I hate ‘Amazing Grace’ too.

And Brian and I have to deal with their songs until we pull up in front of the camp.


	3. Ungodly

  


4 Take me away with you—let us hurry!   
Let the king bring me into his chambers.  
 **Song of Solomon 1:4**

:::::::::::::::::

J.T

**Today** : Still Tuesday.

 

I think the reason I’m so happy when we arrive at the camp is because it made all the choir kids shut up. I don’t think I would have been able to handle one more song without grabbing the nearest and sharpest item and killing myself. I grin wildly at the fact that they’ve finally shut their mouths and stare out my window. There’s a lot a trees. And a path that leads into the trees where, I’m guessing, the lake and all the cabins and whatever else there is on this camp are located. “This looks promising.” I roll my eyes over at the brunet and then look back out my window. 

Marcus stands up at the front of the bus and clears his throat to get our attention.

“We’re here,”

_No fucking way_.

“And I want all of you to get off the bus in a line. No shoving or pushing to get to the front. Then I want you to all orderly take your bags from me when I hand them to you. Understood?”

Everyone but Brian and me murmur ‘yes sir’. Marcus doesn’t notice and he steps off the bus. As soon as he’s out the door everyone stands and, in a nice orderly fashion, they step slowly out of the bus. Brian and I are last because we were all the way in the back. Once everyone gets their bags Marcus leads us down the rocky dirt path and into through a shady opening in the trees. As soon as we walk out from under the overhang you can see the lake and another path that leads into another patch of woods. A sign next to it says, “Cabins.” There are a bunch of other buildings situated not too far away from the lake.

The dining hall, worship center, game room, etc…

Marcus stops and explains it to us, like we’re stupid or something. Brian nudges me.

“Thank God he told us…I had a feeling I was gonna get lost.”

I grin. “I never thought the words ‘thank God’ would come out of your mouth.” He only grins and looks back over at Marcus who’s still telling everyone where the cabins are located…even though the sign tells loud and clear. They have good signage here and I’m sure everyone could’ve found it on their own. If they know how to read and I’m sure they do ‘cause every one of them had brought a Bible with them. “Ok, now follow me into this building over here where will go over the rules…” So, like the good kids we are, we follow him towards a small white building with no sign.

There are about forty desks – And there are only twenty of us in all - sitting inside and a large screen. Brian and I grab desks in the back as everyone else files into seats closer to the screen. I notice the projection machine and realize he’s probably going to show us a Bible movie or something. I almost groan out loud in distaste. Smiling widely, Marcus steps to the front of the classroom. “We’re going to watch a little video of how we’re supposed to act while here at camp.” Suddenly the lights go down and I’m quickly aware of the fact that I’m sitting really close to Brian. In the dark. _With no lights on_. I do my best to ignore him as a video comes on screen with a kitten.

The girls ‘aww.’ Then the video talks:

“ _Kittens are cuddly.”  
Kittens are sweet_.”

It shows another picture of a kitten that the girls ‘aww’ at.

“ _They always turn off the light when they leave a room.”_

It shows a picture of a cat walking out of a room. How lame is this? All the guys are smirking and trying their best not to laugh. I smile. How old does Marcus think we are?

_“They shut the doors quietly,_  
They’re always polite.  
Kittens never curse or swear,” 

Brian snorts at this and I grin over at him. When I look over at Marcus he’s staring right at me. I look back at the screen and there’s a picture of two kittens playing with each other.

“ _Kittens never play pranks on peers.  
Kittens never say bad things about each other._

Pause. Another different picture.

“ _Kittens are not like people._  
People are bad.  
And, when you’re bad…

_God kills a kitten.”_

Suddenly a loud scream comes over the speakers and there’s a picture of a bloody kitten on the screen. Then a e-mail address scrolls along the bottom of the screen and, after the e-mail address, the words: Be good. Save a kitten.” Brian starts bursting out laughing and I join him. Everyone else in the room starts laughing too. Do Marcus and the other camp leaders actually expect us to follow the rules when we’ve watched a stupid video with kittens on it? Funny, yes, but extremely stupid. I grin over at Brian.

“That was…odd.”

“It was fucking hilarious.”

“ _Brian_ …you just killed a kitten.”

I pretend to act all concerned and he just shoves me lightly on the shoulder. “I’ve killed millions of kittens by this point. What’s one more?” I nod in agreement and shove him back. Soon Marcus is filing us out of the classroom, kids still laughing at the ridiculous video. “Ok, guys, you can go right through there,” He’s pointing at the path that leads into the woods and towards the cabins. “And choose your cabins. _Don’t_ fight.” I grab Brian’s upper arm and he suddenly pulls back with a pained expression and a hiss. I raise an eyebrow, pull my arm back, and stare up at him concerned.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“You’re full of it.”

“Nothing’s wrong.”

He rubs his arm and I let the subject drop but I promise myself that I’ll pry it out of him later. Shrugging, I grab his wrist this time and practically drag him towards the opening in the woods. “That eager to get me alone?” He just had to go and say that didn’t he? My cheeks start flushing and I roll my eyes. “ _Noo_ – I just want to get a good cabin.” He chuckles. “Oh, so you don’t want to get me alone then?” I don’t answer at first. I can’t because I don’t think my mouth can move. What a fucker. I look over at him hoping that, somehow, he doesn’t notice how red my cheeks are and how red the tips of my ears are.

“No.”

Lie.

“Oh, well, if you’re sure.”

This time I don’t answer at all because I’m too busy dragging him to the cabin the furthest away. And the only reason I’m taking him to this cabin is because it’s closest to the part of the lake that’s snaked through the woods and wound up here. After all, the lake is huge. “Are you sure you don’t want to get me alone ‘cause, to me, it looks like you’re trying to get me as far away from everyone as possible.” I roll my eyes. “I want the cabin next to the water.” 

“Oh, water front view. _Niice_.”

“I know.”

“The cabin’s small though.”

“All the cabins are small, moron.”

The two of us step into the entryway after I open the door. In one corner of the room there are two beds right next to each other. The only thing separating them is a small nightstand with a lamp on top of it. The rest of the room is clear except for a rug, a small wooden coffee table and a few decorations. Like plants and stuff. There’s a window over one of the beds. “I get the window bed!” I quickly let go of Brian’s hand, fingers burning, and hurry over to the bed and throw my bags at the foot of it and then fling myself on top of it. Brian snorts.

“First you get the window seat on the bus and now you get the window bed too. Talk about selfish.”

“What? You really care _that_ much?”

He pretends to look offended.

“Yes. I wanted to the window bed.”

“Too fucking bad, _whiner_.”

I close my eyes and just lie there. Although I slept a lot of the way on the way here I could sleep again. The bed’s comfortable and after long drives I always feel the need to sleep. Suddenly, bringing me out of my thoughts, there are hands on both my sides tickling the hell out of me. And I would’ve been fine with that even though I’m the most ticklish person I know since I could’ve fought him off eventually. But then he was on top of me, knees on either side of my waist and…well…yeah. Giggling like a little schoolgirl I yell at him to get off of me. “Not…until you…give me…this bed.” I roll my eyes under my closed eyelids, mouth spilling out gallons and gallons of laughter. 

I swat at his hands, try to push them away. 

I twist my body every which way underneath him, which isn’t exactly a good thing for my lower extremities. “Br-Br- _ian_! St-stop! **NOW**!” I force my eyes open and push at his chest to maybe push him off of me but it doesn’t work. Suddenly he’s sitting hard on top of my stomach keeping me from moving and he has one of his hands clasped over my wrist and trapped over my head on the bed. His other hand is traveling down my sides and under my arms. God, I’m going to kill him when he lets go of me. “I don’t think so, Taylor. This is your punishment for being selfish. Plus, that rule thing said Kittens are sweet so you should be sweet and give me this damn bed.” I unconsciously arch underneath him as his hand continues to tickle me to death. I think I hear him moan, which makes me groan in response. “You…just killed…another…fucking…kitten!” His hand stops for a split second, which helps me catch my breath. “ _You’re_ one to speak.”

I don’t answer. Instead I draw in deep gulps of breath incase he decides to start tickling me again so I can actually have _some_ air supply. I also hold my body stock-still. I’m afraid to move because…well…I don’t want to make myself harder then I already am. “Given up yet?” I stare stubbornly up at him. “No. I got the bed first.” He smirks down at me, body leaning down until his face is hovering a few centimeters away from mine. I nearly moan when his hot breath flows across my face, sending goose bumps all over my skin. “I guess we could _share_ it.” Oh. God. _Yesyesyesyes_. I don’t answer right away because my mouth is glued shut and my eyes are too busy taking in how close his lips are to mine and how fucking hot he is. He looks better way up close like this.

And I’m going to come in my pants.

How embarrassing would _that_ be? He smirks down at me.

“ _Well_?”

I work up the best smile I can at the moment given the circumstances. His lips near mine, his breath dancing across my already hot skin, his hips digging into mine and my erection shamelessly grinding into his ass. Yeah – I work up the best smile I can right now.

“Well…it did says kittens were sweet…and cuddly…and polite…so the polite thing to do would be to share this bed with you and I don’t want to kill another kitten so…”

He chuckles, which causes his body to move on top of mine and that’s not good. As if knowing this, he grinds his ass harder against my cock. What. A. **Fuckhead**. I tell myself not to moan, I tell myself not to arch up underneath him, I tell myself not to gasp at the whirlwind of pleasure, and I tell myself to act like none of this is happening. I do everything anyway. My body has a tendency to not listen to me. Then his tongue comes out and swipes across my lips and I think I’m trembling underneath him. Trembling because I’m hornier then I’ve ever been before in my life.

Brian should really do something about it. Now.

“Justin, that’s so _sweet_ of you. I should give you something in return.”

How ‘bout _your_ dick up _my_ ass right now?

With an amused smile, probably at my silence, he’s suddenly off my body and walking towards the other bed. “I changed my mind. This bed is fine.”

:::::::::::::::::

B.K

I didn’t _want_ to walk away.

I didn’t want to leave him there with the impressive erection in his jeans, flushed cheeks, and a look of hardcore want and need drawn on his face. My dick didn’t want to leave him not freshly fucked either but…there were some things that one just had to do. And, despite the fact that I was now the horniest male (Maybe besides Justin) at the camp, I’m glad I did because, seconds later, Marcus is charging into our room, clipboard in hand.

“All settled, boys?”

I don’t think Justin’s in any state to answer so I do. “Yeah.” Marcus nods, looking at the two of us suspiciously. I raise an eyebrow at him as if to ask: ‘ _So_ …what are you still doing here?' He shifts on his feet and quickly looks down at his clipboard. “Cabin number ten. _Alrighty_. Get down to the dining room in five minutes, boys.” Who uses the word ‘alrighty?’ I only nod and he hesitantly turns around and leaves our cabin. I look over my shoulder and at Justin who still looks royally hot and horny. Before I can say a word he’s hurrying away from me and out of the cabin and towards, I can only guess, to the dining room.

I smirk and slowly follow after him, loving the affect I have on him.

The way I get him all hot and bothered without trying.

And I hadn’t been trying when I had grinded my ass into his dick. That was mostly for my satisfaction and, hopefully, we would both get more satisfaction after the very, very late lunch.


	4. Ungodly

  


11 Your lips drop sweetness as the honeycomb, my bride;   
milk and honey are under your tongue.  
 **Song of Solomon 4:11**

 

::::::::::::::

B.K

**Today** : [ _still_ ] Tuesday afternoon/evening.

 

Sadly, for the both of us, there wasn’t a chance after the late-lunch to so much as touch in a sexual way. Lunch had been a drag for the both of us. Despite the fact that he had ran away from me after the ‘cabin episode’ he had saved a seat for me next to him at one of the further tables. It was obvious to everyone that we were, basically, the rejects. What happened to the warm welcome people were supposed to get from happy-go-lucky church members? Obviously, they didn’t follow that little rule. So, we sat isolated, which I didn’t mind. 

We didn’t talk that much though I _did_ ask him why he had run away from me. He responded with pink cheeks, eyes down on his food and: “Because I…you…we…I was trying to “calm down.” At that I had chuckled and taken it, him running away from me, as a compliment. After all, it was just because he had been horny and it was my fault. We had eaten in silence for the rest of lunch. That was fine by me. I stared at him the entire time and he shifted uncomfortably under my gaze the entire time. I don’t think his cheeks have ever been their natural color around me. I feel slightly proud at that.

So, now, here we are, walking towards the dining room for late-dinner.

After lunch, Marcus and a few other church leaders had dragged us outside and made us partake in “fun” games such as flag football. Please, tell me what’s fun about flag football? It was bo- _ooring_. It was also annoying hearing all the other guys complain about not being able to tackle. And for stupid reasons. The only reason they wanted to tackle the other guys was because they liked feeling all macho and tough. The only reason I wanted to tackle _Justin_ was because, well, _yeah_.

Justin hadn’t enjoyed the football thing at all. 

At one point he had pretended spraining his ankle just so he could walk back to the cabin, come back with a book in his hand, sit on the sidelines and sketch. I almost considered doing the same thing but decided against it. That would’ve been obvious. First we’re partners for camp and we both get hurt in the same hour of games? Yeah. So I had settled with running half-heartedly around the field pulling off people’s flags. My teams and the other teams. Like I really gave a damn that I was ruining my teams chances. Plus, every time I did it, Justin would laugh and I like his laugh.

I’ll admit that, although it’s kind of stupid to admit it.

After football: **more** games.

I push lightly at Justin’s shoulder.

“So, did ya have _fun_ today?”

He snorts.

“Yeah. This is a lot more fun then I imagined.”

“How’s your ankle? Are you sure you should be walking on it?”

He smiles over at me and immediately puts on the fake limp that he’s been using all day. He’d forget every now and then so I would have to remind him. Retard.

“It’s still kinda sore…”

“Maybe I should carry you.”

He doesn’t say anything for a few seconds and I can imagining his cheeks turning that light shade of pink and that shy look activating in his eyes. He’s so fucking easy.

“M-maybe you _should_.”

This, I hadn’t been expecting. Usually when I say anything like that he’ll be quiet for about an hour. I grin and look down at him with a raised eyebrow. “It’d be my pleasure.” I reach over to grab him, not really intending on picking him up at all. Especially with other church members walking not too far ahead of us and behind us. He takes a few steps back though, out of my reach. I tilt my head. “What?” His eyes leave mine for a second and seem to focus on my arm and then meet my eyes again. “What about your arm?”

I knew I shouldn’t have freaked out this afternoon. 

“There’s nothing wrong with my arm.”

My dad just kind of twisted it in the wrong direction a lot too much. He raises an eyebrow at me. The moonlight shining down on us allows me to see the look in his eyes. The look that says he doesn’t believe a fucking word of what I’m saying. He crosses his arms over his chest. “Liar. I didn’t grab you _that_ hard this morning so there’s obviously something wrong with your arm. If you don’t want to tell me what’s wrong then that’s fine.” I look away from him and watch as we get closer and closer to the dining room for dinner. I don’t say anything at first because, well, I don’t **know** what to say.

I can’t tell him about my dad.

He’d freak. Then again, I should tell him. Aren’t you supposed to have friends so you can tell them things like that? I sigh and look back over at him. He’s still watching me curiously. The fake limp isn’t in place but I don’t tell him so. “It’s hard to explain.” He shrugs. “I have all night.” I almost smile. I wish we could do other things tonight then talk about my fucked up home life. But I don’t say so. “I don’t like talking about it.” His face softens and he smiles encouragingly at me. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to.” Right then I decide that I will tell him…just because he looks really convincing with his eyes shining in the dark like that.

“No…I want to.”

“Really?”

He seems slightly surprised but happy.

“Really.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I sound fucking sure don’t I?”

“…Sure.”

I push him lightly on the shoulder.

“Aren’t you supposed to be limping?”

::::::::::::::

J.T

I almost tell him to screw dinner ‘cause I want to know everything. I want to know why this arm thing is so…secretive. I don’t even feel that hungry anymore. I’m just curious. I’m hungry to hear what he has to say. And maybe to be alone with him…in a cabin…in a **dark** cabin…and the door locked…yeah. I really want to hear what he has to say too. Again, we sit at the furthest table and start eating in silence. I notice that Brian doesn’t really eat. He more like picks at his food, shoving it around on his plate. A moment later Marcus is standing there and I’m not exactly sure why…maybe he’s come to tell us about the goodness of not cussing or something like that.

“How’s your ankle doing, Justin?”

Or to ask me how my ankle is. 

“Uh…it’s still kind of sore…”

“Did you put ice on it?”

“…No.”

“It’s probably swelling like _crazy_. You should really get a pack of ice from the kitchen to get the swelling down and rest. I wouldn’t walk for a while if I were you.”

I nod. Why the hell is he being nice to me? He’s been avoiding me all day.

“Ok, yeah, sure. I’m actually pretty tired right now…maybe I’ll just go now. Yeah…I’ll go get that ice…”

Marcus nods, flashing a wide encouraging smile.

“That’s a great idea. Want me to help you back?”

“I’ll do it.”

Brian has put his fork down and smiles over at me. Marcus hesitates for some reason and then nods. “Alright, sure. Goodnight boys. Lights out by eleven.” **ELEVEN**? What the hell? Just because we’re churchgoers doesn’t mean we have to go to bed so damn early! I only nod and get up from the table feigning a look of pain as I do so. I’m pretty good at this faking stuff since Marcus actually reaches out and grabs my arm to help me off the bench. I smile, or maybe it’s more of a grimace ‘cause I don’t want his hand on me, and pull my arm away from him. Brian’s hand soon wraps warmly around the spot that Marcus’s hand had been on and leads me out of the room without another word to Marcus.

As soon as we’re out of the dining room:

“He was coming on to you.”

I snort and start laughing. That’s the most hilarious thing I’ve heard all day.

_Ever_ actually.

“What? Brian, incase you haven’t noticed…he’s a church leader. Bible thumper. ‘Oh, God, faggots should go to hell’ type of guy. What are you talking about?”

“Guys come on to me _all_ the time. I would know.”

I blush slightly even though I didn’t really come on to him… _he_ came on to me.

“You’re wrong.”

“I am not.”

“He was not coming on to me. That’s just…no way.”

“He was though. I’m dead serious.”

I think about it. If what Brian’s saying is true then… _GROSS_.

“I think I’m gonna be sick. Why’d you tell me?”

I think I really am going to be sick. If it’s true then…that’s one of the most disgusting things I’ve ever heard in my life. “I told you because…because.” I frown. “Gee, thanks. I’m so glad you told me. I’ve been hot for Marcus ever since I first saw him.” Brian chuckles. Actually **chuckles**! Fucking bastard. He has no right to laugh at this. This is disgusting. Sick. Wrong. Twisted. What would _God_ say? I feel like puking and rub the spot on my arm that the man had grabbed on to. Brian swats at my hand and replaces his own hand over the same spot. “Sorry but I thought you should know. Plus, I wanted to let you know…that…I was jealous because _I_ saw you first.”

I. Hate. Blushing.

“Well, don’t worry ‘cause there’s no competition.”

“I _hope_ not.”

“Hope no longer ‘cause there isn’t. _Eww_.”

“Good.”

I smile slightly, open the screen door to the cabin, and lead the two of us inside. The lamp that I turn on doesn’t seem very useful. It only lights up a small part of the cabin, the rest of the small room is dim. I turn to Brian, slow motion replays of what happened last time we were in here flashing behind my eyes, and smile weakly. “So…” Yeah, I’m so fucking smooth. He smiles slightly and shrugs, hands stuffed in his pockets once again. “My dad finds pleasure in beating me.” I smile, thinking he’s joking. After all, how could he throw something out like that so casually? “Ha, ha. Very funny.” He frowns. “I’m serious.” My smile falters and I feel a little tightening in my stomach. 

“W-what?”

“My mom’s a frigid bitch and my dad gets drunk and beats me.”

I blink. Oh. My. God. Is he fucking serious? He looks serious now. That tortured look is on his face again and his jaw is tense and clenched. I take a small step towards him. “I’m…” Shocked. Concerned. **Angry**. “I’m so sorry.” And I mean it. I’m just not saying it to try and make him feel better. I’m not just saying it ‘cause it seems like the right thing to say. He shrugs as if he doesn’t care again and I shake my head. “I can’t believe…I…you’re so…how…” I realize I sound like an idiot so I clamp my mouth shut and look up at him with all the concern and anger I’m feeling at the moment. 

All thoughts of him fucking me are gone.

For the moment anyway.

“It’s ok…I survive.”

I glare. Not at him…I just…glare.

“Yeah, for now. You can’t go back there.”

He laughs. I don’t like the way it sounds. Icy, cold.

“Where else am I supposed to go?”

“You can live with me.”

“What? And I’m supposed to hide in your closet until I’m eighteen?”

I shrug.

“So? You already hide in the closet anyway. What’s one more to hide in?”

He grins, this one not so icy and cold.

“You have a point.”

“I know.”

“Are you for real?”

I shake my head up and down furiously.

“Of course I’m _for real_. They’re **hurting** you. Plus, would they really care if you just…didn’t show up at home?”

He shakes his head ‘no’ like I knew he would. “Ok then.” I spin around and head over towards my bed. Suddenly his arms come around from behind, hands locking against my stomach and his chin coming to rest on my shoulder, and his teeth bite onto the lobe of my ear for a split second. My breath catches and thoughts of him fucking me are once again present in my mind. Present in my pants too. “It would be my _pleasure_ to hide in your closet, Sunshine.” Sunshine? I like it. But that might just be because he used it. “Sunshine?” His tongue slides up my neck until it reaches my ear.

“Yeah, ‘cause you light up the entire room.”

I grin, cheeks getting hotter. _Girlgirlgirlgirl_!

One of his hands slides down my stomach to cup my hardening cock through the rough material of my jeans and I know other parts of my body are going to be flushed in a few minutes time.


	5. Ungodly

  


Do not stare at me because I am dark,   
because I am darkened by the sun  
 **Song of Solomon 1:6**

::::::::::

J.T

**Today** : Tuesday Night.

 

His hand squeezes tighter around the bulge in my pants. My hand slides on top of it to keep him from letting his fingers squeeze anymore ‘cause if he does…I might come in my pants. Come on! I’m a virgin…cut me some slack. “I-I light up the entire room?” He doesn’t answer at first. His mouth is too busy licking, biting and kissing my neck and throat. Oh, god, I think I might die from all this contact. And fuck – it’s not even that much contact. I probably **will** die when he has me on my back and his dick up my ass.

If we even get that far.

“Yeah,”

His whispery voice causes goose bumps to erupt all over my skin.

“When you smile.”

I’d probably feel really flattered right now if his hand wasn’t over my dick and his mouth wasn’t on my throat. If I wasn’t so distracted. “O-oh.” There I go again. I’m so stupid. I can’t talk. Daphne’s not going to believe it. Me, not being able to talk? That’ll be the most hilarious thing she’s ever heard. Suddenly I’m spun around by his hands and facing him and…I’m not sure if I want to face him because I don’t want him to see how fucking nervous I suddenly feel. There are actual butterflies flying around in my stomach. 

“I’ve wanted to kiss you,”

A hand comes to rest on the back of my neck pulling me closer to him.

“Since the first time I saw you.”

Amen to that. I swallow and use the little ounce of bravery that I have to place a hand on his hip. I wonder how obvious it is that I have zero experience when it comes to this type of thing. He smiles down at me and I’m not sure if it’s because he’s really amused at my shyness or if it’s a genuine smile. Whatever it is, I decide that there’s no way I can be quiet anymore. I can’t keep my mouth shut ‘cause that might just…not be cool. I decide that I have to at least make an effort to voice out my thoughts on all of this…though I’m sure my cock is a huge indicator of how I feel about this…that’s beside the point.

“P-please kiss me.” 

He doesn’t waste any time in fulfilling my request. His lips meet mine in a slow tender kiss and I wonder how long this will last before we both can’t take this slow speed anymore. I soon find out. As soon as his tongue wanders into my mouth my lips speed up at their own accord and his mouth quickly follows, kissing me like he’s trying to swallow me whole. Hot, fiery, needy and hungry. His hands grip tightly to my hips and pull me up against him, hard cock against hard cock, and I groan in to his mouth. He tastes so fucking good. Better then I had thought he would taste. Sure, I thought he would taste good but he tastes… _god_.

He tastes strongly of chocolate and peppermint.

Those two flavors are now my two favorite flavors in the world.

I press my hands gently on his chest because I’m not sure if he’s hurt there too and, for a few seconds, anger flares inside of me and it must’ve transferred into my kissing method ‘cause he pulls away, eyebrow raised. I don’t say anything. I’m breathing too hard to say anything and he doesn’t talk either. He’s breathing just as hard as I am and I’m surprised that neither of us has pulled away for air sooner. I bet I could kiss him for the rest of my life without having to pull away for a breather. His hands land on my shoulders and he pushes me downwards until I’m sitting on the edge of the bed.

I don’t _want_ to sit down.

I want to kiss him but I don’t say that. I do what he wants.

And if that means sitting down…then so be it.

Then he’s kneeling down in front of me and pulling off my shoes and socks and I think I might die because he’s _undressing_ me. Ok, that would be a stupid thing to die over but…no one’s ever undressed me before. Except my mom and that was when I was, like, three. Then he stands up after throwing my shoes and socks somewhere on the floor. I watch, completely entranced, as his fingers grab the ends of his shirt and pull it off and then throw it to the floor carelessly. If I had been angry about his arm before then…I was beyond pissed now. I was so fucking angry I felt like catching a taxi, finding Mr. Kinney, and killing him.

Brian was beautiful.

Probably the most beautiful person I have ever laid eyes on. Even the bruises, some looked fresh and a lot looked old, scratches, and other wounds didn’t change that. My anger and concern must’ve shown on my face because a second later: “I’m alright.” I furiously shake my head. “You’re _hurt_.” He opens his mouth to protest and, I realize, this is probably killing the entire mood and making me angry…him arguing with me. So, I do the only thing I can think of to do. I stand up, grab him by the hips, and latch my lips onto a bruise near his collarbone. I don’t know how I couldn’t have seen it before.

Or how I missed the almost-faded bruises on his arms.

They seemed to be **protruding** into sight now.

I move to the next nearest wound, press open-mouthed kisses along his skin and I don’t intend to stop until every single hurt has been nurtured. Cared for. By my mouth and tongue. And what I’m doing must be acceptable because his hands, which are clenching in my hair, press my mouth harder against his skin and he’s gasping and mumbling incoherent things above my head. I can hear, every few seconds, my name being said but, other than that, I have no idea what else he’s saying. When I’m on my knees, my tongue not able to resist from dipping into his belly button a few times, I come across a newer, bigger, scratch. It looked to have gone deep too and my already boiling blood boils exceptionally hot now.

I kiss along it a few times, tongue following and his hands curl tighter in my hair.

“Jus- _tin_.”

Small, unsure frown on my face, I pull back.

“Did I hurt you?”

“No…feels good.”

Tell me about it. I don’t know how long I’ve been administering my caring lip action to his skin but I’m surprised it hasn’t made one of us ( **me** ) come in my pants yet. I’m not sure how we’ve ( **I’ve** ) lasted this long. It’s been, at least, twenty minutes since I started up at his collarbone. In another second I’m pulled up gently to my feet and his lips are pressed hard against mine. He pulls away, his breath flying across my face as his forehead leans against mine. His hands reach up and cup my face in his hands. His strong, beautiful hands that I’ve been obsessed with since the first time I saw them. “Thank you.” I know what he’s talking about. I don’t ask him for what. I only smile at him, feeling a lot less shy around him then I’ve ever felt before. Then he’s pulling my shirt above my head and I have a feeling that, when he goes for my pants, I’m goin’ to be blushing like a little school girl all over again. Oh well. I’m proud of myself for not blushing at the _moment_.

“You’re so hot.”

Ok, maybe I’ll blush now and he hasn’t even touched my pants yet. He just calls me hot and I get all pink-cheeked. To act like I’m not blushing like a fucking retard: “Y-you are too.” Then I ruin it with the whole ‘stuttering at the beginning of my statement’ thing. Oh well. He chuckles, clearly amused and presses a quick kiss against my lips, hands running over my shoulders, down my back and then back around to my chest and stomach. I wonder what he thinks when my skin quivers voluntarily under his fingers. God…his beautiful fingers. I’m in fucking love with his hands. 

**Then** his hands unbutton my pants.

Surprisingly, my cheeks don’t get any hotter than they are now. I don’t know how he does it but I do know that my pants and boxers are off in about…let’s say… _five_ fucking seconds. I don’t know what to do except stand there. Oh, and feel extremely self-conscious. I’ve never been naked in front of a guy before. I’ve been naked in front of Daphne before but she’s a girl and that was just once, and I guess I’ve been naked in front of my mom before but…again…when I was, like, three and really young. That’s it. And here I am: stark naked in front of the hottest guy on the earth.

“You’re so _fucking_ hot.”

I grin. Probably happier then I meant. Happy that he doesn’t think I’m an ugly ass freak that needs to go work out. I’m not muscular. I’m definitely not tan. I don’t work out but I don’t have an ounce of flab on my body. Thank God. And, I guess I’m fucking hot. It must be true if Brian’s telling me so because…he _is_ God. My god anyway. My eyes fly downwards as he undoes his own jeans. I watch, once again immersed in the grace that is Brian ‘really fucking hot’ Kinney. Then his jeans are off with nothing else underneath. NOTHING. Oh fuck. And I didn’t think it was even possible to get any harder than I already am. 

I don’t have too long to focus on just how hard I am since his body’s suddenly pressed flush against mine, his lips are eating mine again, and his hips are grinding. His cock is **rubbing** against mine and the friction is too fucking much. How am I not coming yet? I try not to grip his arms too tightly ‘cause I don’t want to hurt him anymore than he already is and I move my hands to his grip his back but then I remember that I haven’t even gotten a look at his back yet to make sure it’s ok to touch there. So I settle with digging my hands up in his hair. It’s safe there. At least I _hope_ so. It must be ok because he doesn’t pull away when my hands grip so tight into his hair that I think I may pull some out when his hand wanders down between us, fingers curling around my turgid cock.

Four pumps of his hand later it’s starting to be too much.

“Bri- _Brian_ …stop…”

“Come for me, Justin…come…now.”

I bite my lip. I don’t want to come yet. It’s too fucking soon. But I have no choice in the matter. Three pumps and his thump pressing against my slit later, I’m spilling into his hand with a loud, “Brian, fuck!” I wrap my arms around his neck and the arm wrapped around my sweating and lightly shaking body holds me up. His hand releases my cock and it looks so fucking hot covered in my come. The sight awakens my dick and it gets ready for another round. When Brian sucks one of his fingers into his mouth and then another, my cock is ready for another round. Right now. His two fingers slide out and his tongue slides out of his mouth too and I quickly wrap my lips around it, sucking my taste and sticky come off of it. All this come swapping makes me moan, mouth vibrating around his tasteful tongue. His tongue quickly pulls out of my mouth and is replaced with his middle finger and I obediently clean it off and then another finger…and another. I’m hard as a rock and Brian better do something about it soon. As if reading my mind, I’m suddenly being shoved backwards and onto my bed. Him on top of me.

Did I remember to lock the cabin door?

Wait – _can_ you lock it? Yes, yes you can.

“L-Lock door.”

“Good idea.”

I hate him for being able to talk without stuttering. I feel slightly…abandoned as his body leaves mine and walks over to the screen door. I hope I don’t moan too loud or we’ll definitely be caught. Good thing the camp leader’s cabins are all the way on the opposite side of the row of cabins than ours. I’m suddenly even more proud of myself for getting the cabin the furthest away from everything. I hear a slam and the little light that had been seeping through the screen disappears. So…there is another door and not just a screen door. I hadn’t been paying much attention this afternoon. Brian makes a sound of triumph. But he doesn’t stop there. He goes as far to shove a huge suitcase in front of the door.

Then he’s back and paying attention to me, his body lying over mine and swapping spit with me again. Making out and grinding against each other like the two horny teenagers that we are. I can’t take this anymore, his fingers and dick teasing my dick. He’s doing it on purpose, smirk on his face. I arch underneath him, thrusting more forcefully showing him just how much I want him to speed this ‘Fucking Taylor’s Virginity Away at Church Camp’ mission up. I don’t want to come again until he’s up my ass. I don’t care how much I want to come right now. I don’t care that I’m so hard that it hurts. I need Brian in me now.

He grins down at me.

“Fuck me, _please_.”

“So polite.”

“I won’t be polite if you don’t fuck me **now**.”

He chuckles, hands gripping my hips and holding them tight to the bed to keep me from moving against him. I groan and bang my head against the pillow impatiently. At least I’m not stuttering…or blushing anymore. Maybe him fucking me will solve both of those problems. “You’re already a bossy bottom.” I roll my eyes but smile, struggling to pick my hips up off the bed and rub against him. I need to touch him. But his hands won’t allow it. He’s stronger than I thought. I settle for gently grabbing his wrists instead and pleading him with my eyes to fuck me. It has the desired affect. A few milliseconds later he’s reaching down to the floor for his pants and pulling out a condom and a small bottle of lube.

It’s nice to know he has those on hand.

Who knows when he’ll need them?

I watch as he puts the condom on and swallow. This is **it**. This is the day that I’m no longer little innocent me. Little innocent me who’s never done anything between the sheets. And I’m losing all of this to God. He smiles down at me; sweet, tender and encouragingly. I’ve never seen more of a beautiful smile than that. His fingers are in and out of my ass with a blur of colors behind my eyes and I watch as the lube is slicked over his condom-covered cock. He places my legs on his shoulders and he hovers over me. I link my fingers with his and he doesn’t seem to mind. “Just…go slow…” He kisses me long and slow and it sucks the nervousness out of my body and then he’s pushing in. I grip tightly onto his hands and he stops. Oh, god it _hurts_.

“Justin – _Justin_ ,”

I open my eyes and look up at him.

“Relax. C’mon, Sunshine, let me in.”

I let out a long, heavy breath and do what he says. _Relaxrelaxrelaxrelax_. He smiles down at me and moves forward again, slow like I asked. I moan and I don’t know if it’s in pain or pleasure. I don’t know what the hell I’m feeling right now. I quickly wonder if I’m cutting off the blood circulation to his hands…and I quickly let go of them, grab the sheets instead and hold them in a death grip. My head flies back against the pillows as he eases more and more and then stops. Everything is still and quiet except for my gasping and his heavy breathing. “God, you’re so tight.” 

“G-go.”

He listens and goes. He starts off slowly and I wonder if this is killing him – going so slow for me. As the pain subsides I raise my hips up to meet his until we establish a rhythm. From then on, nothing’s slow. He’s thrusting hard into me, angling himself just right every now and then to make me a muttering, shaking mess beneath him. I force his lips against mine and I try my best not to grip into his shoulders too hard and my legs somehow fall down around his waist and I hope I’m not gripping him too hard. “Oh, Bri- _an_ , fas-faster.” I don’t even know if he can go any faster than he already is. But, somehow and I’m amazed, he does. He’s moving so fucking fast that I can’t even think. 

Everything’s just a… **blob**.

Now he’s angling himself so he hits **there** every single time. “God, fuck!” I really hope I’m not screaming too loud. Brian covers my mouth with his and I guess I am being loud…or maybe he just really wants to kiss me. His hips pump harder and I don’t think his dick can get up my ass anymore than it already is and I’m shaking so bad I think I’m having a seizure. I lock my legs tighter around him, his teeth bite hard into my shoulder and I’m coming (“Bri-Brian!”) between our stomachs. A second later Brian’s spent and his hot, sweaty body is resting fully on top of mine. 

I almost protest when he pulls out of me. I don’t want him to pull out of me. He should stay there. He _belongs_ there. He doesn’t get off of me though, for which I’m glad. I wrap my arms around him, fingers unconsciously trailing up and down his spine and my face buried into the crook of his neck, breathing in his scent. When he finally does pick up part of his body off of mine, leaning on his elbows, my arms tense around him to keep him from going anywhere and he grins at me, kissing me again but only for a few seconds.

“I can’t sleep here.”

I know.

“Why?”

His fingers start to play with my hair.

“We’ll get caught.”

I know.

“So?”

I’m being totally illogical, of course. If we get caught…I don’t want to even think about the consequences.

“ _Marcus_ will get jealous.”

I glare at him.

“Gross!” 

Brian laughs at me and rolls off of me in the process. He slowly walks towards the door and I think he does it on purpose just so I can get a chance to stare at his ass longer. He makes a show of pulling the suitcase away from the door and putting it back where he got it in the first place. He walks back towards me when he’s done, picks me up off the bed and pulls me clumsily against him and kisses me long, hard and then pushes me roughly back on the bed again. Horny all over again. “Goodnight, Sunshine.”

“Goodnight.”

I know I sound pitiful and strongly disappointed by the fact that he couldn’t have stayed put and let us take a risk and maybe get caught. He laughs at me again and slips under the covers of his own bed. He falls asleep long before I do because I can’t stop looking at him.


	6. Ungodly

  


I know what you want  
I'm gonna take you to a midnight show tonight  
If you can keep a secret  
I got a blanket in the back seat on my mind  
 **Midnight Show – The Killers**

 

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

J.T

**Today** : Wednesday. Second day of camp.

 

I wake up to the sound of Marcus barging in and clapping his hands as some type of alarm. For a few seconds I panic because I’m not sure if I’m fully covered by my comforter. After Brian telling me about Marcus last night there’s no way I’m going to let Marcus see me stark naked. I’m relived when I see that my comforter is still wrapped tight around my waist. I don’t want him seeing my naked chest either but that’s better than him seeing my cock too. _No thanks_. I hear Brian murmur something about getting up in five minutes and I smile slightly. I let Marcus know I’m up by sitting up and he quickly leaves to wake up the other cabins. I quickly slip out of bed, take the quickest shower – Thank god the cabins have showers and there aren’t group showers! – and come out of the bathroom all dressed and ready to go.

Brian, however, is still asleep.

I smile and kneel next to his bed.

“Brian, wake up. Marcus told you to, like, fifteen minutes ago.”

I grab his bare shoulder and shake him until his eyes slowly peel open. “ _Marcus_ was in here?” I grin and nod but his eyes shut again and he covers his face with his pillow. I hear his muffled voice tell me ‘five more minutes…’ and I have a feeling he’s already asleep again. I roll my eyes and stare at his bare chest for a few moments. I bite my bottom lip as my eyes scan the bruises that his father had given him and I can already feel the anger building up inside of me again. My eyes move downwards until they come to the blanket that’s resting just below his narrow hips, a trail of dark hairs teasing under the blanket. I place a hand on his chest; trail my fingers down his soft skin – rigid where scratches are – until I reach the hem of the blanket. I remove the pillow from Brian’s face and throw it on the floor.

“You _really_ need to get up, Brian.”

I slide my hand under the blanket and wrap my fingers around his morning wood. “I am up.” I smirk and slowly begin pumping my hand up and then down. “I’d say you’re up in more ways than one.” He chuckles slightly but the chuckle quickly turns into a moan as I speed up my hand. His own hand joins mine under the blanket and his fingers wrap around mine and help me speed up the process of jerking him off. I only let him help me, though, because we have to get out of this cabin as soon as possible. Marcus will probably freak if we’re late to breakfast or something. I lean over and press my lips against his and I can imagine what Marcus would say, or what any church leader would say if they walked into our cabin and saw this.

“Open your eyes, Brian.”

He does as I ask. I like the way he looks, his eyes look, when he’s horny. Pupils dilated, eyes glassy and wanting. Just fucking hot. I lean down and kiss him again. His tongue shoves inside and meets mine, his lips try, once again, to devour mine and I’m not sure how I’m going to be able to last all today without him touching me inappropriately…or touching me _at all_. He’s breathing hard into my mouth and I move my hand faster. He needs to get off soon or Marcus will probably come and check on us. I press my thumb roughly against his piss hole and he’s done. He comes into the palm of my hand moaning my name and sweat making his skin glisten under the rays of the sun seeping through our window.

He’s fucking gorgeous. Beautiful.

I wipe my hand on his comforter and kiss him one last time before standing up

Now _I’m_ hard and unsatisfied. This hardly seems fair.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

B.K

Ok, for one, I don’t know how the hell Justin pulled off that ‘good morning, Brian’ hand job without blushing. Secondly, I hate the fact that Marcus had come into our room. Thirdly, I’ll have to reward Justin tonight for the wake up call because, by the looks of it, he’s now the unsatisfied victim here. I take a quick shower and am pleased to see that Justin left me more than enough hot water and then get dressed. Justin looks more irresistible then usual, probably because I fucked him last night, in tight jeans and an illegally tight black shirt. Before leaving the cabin, I grab him by the front of said shirt and pull him in for a long, deep kiss that I want him to remember all fucking day because if he remembers it all fucking day then he’ll be horny all fucking day and when he looks horny all fucking day than…my day will be pleasant.

Justin Taylor horny is a beautiful sight.

When I pull away and see **the** look in his eyes I see I have accomplished my task. “I’d _love_ to say thank you for the nice wake up call…but we’ll have to wait till later so _that_ means, you’ll have to settle with that.” He looks up at me pleadingly, hands holding onto my hips and his swollen lips screaming at me to kiss them and devour them and make them mine. “Please, _Brian_ , we don’t need breakfast…” I smile down at him and am almost tempted to take him up on the offer but decide against it. At night it was risky enough but in the middle of the day? Plus, Marcus would probably flip out if Justin didn’t show up at breakfast and come here and find us fucking and then call our parents. “Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, Sunshine.” He rolls his eyes and mutters, “I don’t care” and then proceeds to press our lips together again.

He’s very convincing but I push him away. He has no idea how much this is killing me.

“Justin – I want to fuck you so hard right now. I want to fuck you all day. I want to fuck you until you can’t breathe, speak, or walk. I want to fuck. You. But, I can’t. Marcus might walk in and _ask to join_ in on the action.”

A horrified look suddenly dawns on Justin’s face and he covers his face with his hands. “EWW. Fucking gross, Brian! Fuck you! Never say that again or I’ll…”

“You’ll what?”

“Never let you fuck me again, that’s what.”

I laugh and pry his hands away from his face. He shouldn’t cover up something so hot. “I’m sorry. Forgive me. How ‘bout this for a mental image: you bent over one of the pews in the worship center tonight at twelve.” By the look on his face I can tell he has forgiven me for giving him the disturbing mental image of Marcus joining us for a threesome. I can tell because his eyes get all hazy, unfocused, glazed over with want and need for, who I’m assuming, **me**. His lips also turn up into this shy little grin. So, all in all, he gets this look on his face that shouts: ‘Brian Kinney fuck me now’. He wraps his arms around my neck and pulls me in for another kiss. Our last one for the morning, I’m guessing and we both make it worthwhile. It’s only when his hand is trying to slip into my jeans that I pull away.

“What’d I say, Sunshine.”

“I’m sorry. I can’t help it.”

I grin and gently push him away before either of us decided to kiss again and things get out of control. I can only push him away so much. “Let’s go. Marcus probably made you a special breakfast so you wouldn’t have to eat the nasty food that they make here.” He crosses his arms over his chest and rolls his eyes. A grimace falls onto his face and he walks ahead of me out the door. He does, however, wait for me to catch up with him half-way to the dining building. I’m slightly tempted to grab his hand for a split second before I remind myself where exactly we are. When we get inside Marcus smiles at us ( **Justin mostly** ) enthusiastically. “Good morning, guys.”

I almost roll my eyes. It would’ve been a better morning if I could’ve sunk my dick in a certain blond’s ass. For some reason, Justin smiles brightly up at the church leader, all white teeth and beautiful. What the fuck does he think he’s doing? “ _Good morning_ , Marcus.” He practically sings it and even pats the man on the arm before leading the two of us to the same table we sat at least night. In the back. When we both sit down, him across from me, I glare at him from across the table. I think I’m jealous. No, I know I’m jealous and I don’t want to be jealous because…me jealous because of Marcus? Fucking retarded. 

“What the _hell_ was that?”

Justin was the epitome of pure innocence when he looked up at me.

“What the hell was _what_?”

“Good morning, Marcus!” 

I bat my eyes and make my voice all high-pitched for extra affect. He smiles slightly.

“I was just being friendly.”

“Why? This is the Marcus that probably has wet dreams about fucking you.”

He frowns, disgusted look making itself apparent on his face once more. “Can you stop saying that? That’s so disgusting and why the hell are you acting so _jealous_? I’m trying to be nice to him so I can ask him if I can go to the worship center after it closes so I can have some time for myself to pray and think since my grandmother is sick and I don’t feel comfortable being with other people while I’m praying for her.” I blink and by the look on his face I can tell he’s dead serious. Then a huge smiles plasters onto his face and he shines his smile directly on me. “I mean…if you were _serious_ about fucking me on one of the pews.”

I smirk.

“I was definitely serious, Sunshine.”

“Then shut the hell up and let me work my magic.”

“As long as you aren’t working the magic you worked this morning.”

He raises an eyebrow.

“What’d you do about it? If I _did_ work ‘that kind of magic’ on Marcus?”

I grin, knowing full well that he would never, NEVER, give Marcus a hand job. He probably wouldn’t even give him a kiss on the forehead. I stare at him for a moment before answering. “If you did do that first, I’d tie you to my bed and punish you by torturing you. Then, I’d fuck you. Hard.” His face takes on **the** look again and he shifts in his seat. “H-how would you torture me?” I grin. “I’m sorry but I don’t think that we’re in the right place for a discussion like this one. Plus, I’m trying to eat. I need my protein.” I take a bite out of my sausage as if to emphasize this point. He moans. Just soft enough for me only to hear it. “I can think of _another_ way to give you protein, Kinney.”

“As appealing as that sounds, I really like my sausage.”

He smirks.

“I like your sausage too.”

“Do you have to turn everything into innuendo?”

“Yes.”

I watch as he looks down at his plate. He doesn’t have sausage. He has bacon. He sends me a sweet smile.

“Can I have a bite of your sausage?”

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

J.T

“Marcus!”

The day flew by slowly. It was hard to make it through the day if you had Brian sending you little looks throughout the entire day, or telling you what he was going to do to you while you were trying to eat, or just looking like he does. I had a very hard, in more ways than one, time focusing all day. Except when we were all herded into the worship center for the nightly praise and worship time that went on from nine to eleven. Then everyone was told to go to bed and the lights had to be out by the time someone made the nightly rounds at twelve. The church leader stops walking and turns to face me, smile suddenly sliding up onto his face. I wait until everyone files out of the building before asking Marcus my question.

Brian passes me with a small smile and I watch as he heads, by himself, towards our cabin.

“Yes, Justin?”

“Umm…I was wondering if would be ok if I stayed here a little but longer…by myself. You see, my grandmother is in the hospital and she’s dying of cancer and, sometimes, I get a little emotional while praying for her and…I’d really like to be alone and pray for her and this seems like the right place to do it.”

The perfect place for Brian to do **me**.

Marcus suddenly looks sympathetic.

“Of course you can, Justin. I’ll make sure to tell the other leaders so you don’t get in trouble. I’m very sorry about your grandmother. I hope she makes it through.”

I put on the best sad smile that I can.

“Thank you very much.”

“Anytime, anytime.”

I tell him that I just have to get something from my room and then I’ll come back and he nods and begins walking to the Church leader cabin. I quickly walk towards my cabin. Brian’s lying on his bed reading a magazine. He looks up when I enter. I grin at him and jump next to him on the bed. “He _totally_ bought the grandmother story. You should’ve seen the look on his face when I told him. He looked so fucking sympathetic.” Brian smirks. “Good work, Sunshine. Now get your ass over there and start praying.” I grin and press my lips against his before leaving. When I pull away I’m hard, needy, and extremely wanting. 

“I’ve wanted to do that all day.”

Brian smiles at me.

“We’ll have _plenty_ of time to do that while I’m helping you pray for your grandmother.”

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

B.K

Marcus finally comes around my cabin at exactly twelve. We exchange ‘goodnights’ and then he leaves. I have a feeling that he doesn’t like me very much, which is ok with me because I hate the fucking asshole. A few minutes after he leaves I swing out of bed still clad in what I’ve been wearing all day and look out the door. Marcus isn’t anywhere in sight so I quietly walk out and hurry towards the large building that is the worship center. A dim light is on inside and I softly knock on the door once I reach the destination. I look around me, ears alert, incase Marcus decides to just…appear. The worship center door swings open and I’m suddenly being pulled inside by an eager Justin.

“Finally…”

I laugh softly. I suddenly realize why it’s so dim in here. There are candles lit, there isn’t an actual light on. The flickering light bouncing on and off of Justin’s face as he moves makes all of this even hotter and I can’t stand to not be inside him much longer. “I’ve come to comfort you because of your grandmother.” He grins up at me, arms encircling my neck and his body rubs wantonly against mine. “That’s very kind of you.” I smile, pull away, which makes a crestfallen look come onto his face, and turn to face the door. I quickly lock it and see that the disappointed look has been replaced with an excited smile. I grab him by the waist and pull him against my body again.

“I’m going to ask you, on a scale of one to ten, how sad you are about your poor grandmother and whatever number you say is how hard I’m going to fuck you.”

This should be an easy question. He smiles amusedly and nods.

“How sad are you about your grandmother?”

“Ten, _definitely_ ten.”

Good boy. I grab his hand and drag him down the aisle of the worship center until we’re at the very first pew and I give him my most commanding look. “Take off your clothes.” He smiles and does as he’s asked. First he toes off his shoes and socks. Second, his shirt is lifted up over his head and thrown on the floor mercilessly. Then his hands slowly undo the buttons on his jeans and it’s taking fucking forever. “Faster, Justin.” His hands speed up and his pants are quickly kicked away. There’s nothing underneath and I meet his eyes with mine. “How long have you been walking around with nothing underneath your jeans?”

“All day.”

Fuck. 

“Are you serious? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because.”

I shake my head and continue on.

“Undress me.”

“Yes, Sir.”

He takes a step closer to me and his hands lift my shirt up over my head. Suddenly, he’s turning me around so that my back is facing him. “What are you doing?” His hands hold onto my waist so I can’ turn around and his lips press gently to my back. “I never got a chance to see your back last night,” His fingers trail down my spine, slow and gently and I mentally curse when my skin shakes beneath the pads of his fingers. Then his lips are following and I know he’s giving me more of his lip therapy like he had to my scars and scratches last night. I tilt my head back just slightly and let my eyes shut. His lips and hands on me feel fucking good and there’s no way I can stop him from doing this to speed things up because I find that, as ridiculous as it sounds, it does make me feel better.

“I’m sorry you’re _so hurt_ , Brian.”

He sounds angry and sad at the same time. His voice is oddly quiet and maybe, if I’m hearing correctly, choked up. His lips continue to brush across my back until I can’t take not seeing his face any longer. I grab his hands to keep them on my waist and slowly turn around. He lets me and I see, regretfully, tears in his eyes at the fact that someone’s been hurting me. No one’s ever looked at me like that before. No one’s ever actually showed that they’ve felt sorry for me. No one’s every made a point to let me know that they care about me. Justin would be a first. I cup his face in my hands and press my lips against his. I pull back and study his face for a few seconds. His eyes still hold unshed tears for me, ME, and I smile.

“It’s ok. You make it better.”

He grins up at me and pulls me down for another kiss. His hands begin shedding me of my pants and I toe off my shoes and socks before kicking my pants away somewhere next to all his clothes. I pull our bodies together, hot skin against hot skin, and force his lips against mine. I pull back and reach down for my pants where a condom and my lube sit snug. When I’m standing upright again he pulls me in for another kiss, which I understand. I’ve come to the understanding that it’s hard for the both of us to keep our hands and, **especially** , our mouths off of each other. I hand him the condom wrapper. “Put it on me.” He quickly does so and then looks up at expectantly. I sit down on the front row pew and pull him on top of me, him straddling me like I want him to.

“You’re gonna ride me.”

I open the lube and squirt a generous amount in my hands, warm it up, and apply it to my cock, which was very hard to do considering that Justin’s lips are somewhere on me the entire time. I wipe my hands on the pew seat and then grab his hips. He lifts up on his knees until he’s hovering over my cock, his hands buried in my hair, and slowly eased down. He pauses for a moment once the head of my dick is inside of him and then forcefully sits himself on my cock. “ _Ohh_ – fucking god.” I agree with him and tilt my head back and listen to his, our, heavy breathing as he gets used to the sensation of me filling him. I lift my head again and meet his uncertain eyes.

“W-what do I do now?”

Oh, fucking god. He’s being serious. His fucking innocence turns me on way more than it should.

“Move up a-and down, Sunshine.”

His lips crash against mine and he does as I say. He moves slowly at first as his lips move furiously against mine and then he just…slams down. Fast and hard and, “Fuck, Jesus Christ, Justin!” He does it again and I guess he likes the reaction he got out of me the first time. I grip his hips tight and help slam him down on my cock. When his head tilts backwards, one of his hands is gripping onto the pew behind my head and the other is gripping tightly to my arm as he continues to rise up and then slam down, I attack his neck with my mouth. I realize that in the morning there are probably going to be hundreds of hickies covering his skin beautifully. All because of me. He groans and I bite harder. “Bri-Brian – close.” I release one of his hips and grab his cock instead and begin pumping him for all that it’s worth.

A few pumps later he’s coming into my hand.

“Oh – fucking – _Brian_ …”

He moves up and down exactly three more times and I’m coming. I yell out his name, loud, and I hope no one else heard it outside. If so, we’re both fucked. And not in a life affirming, positive way either. I slip out of him and, again, he groans in disappointment and I distract him by kissing him long, hard and rough. It works. It also makes both of us half-hard again. I pull away from him and we both get up off the pew. I would’ve fucked him again but I only brought one condom with me. So the two of us get dressed, both stopping every five seconds to kiss each other or just touch. Either way, it takes us fucking forever to get our clothes back on.

Once we both manage to get dressed Justin grabs me by the hand. I grin at him.

“Now that’s what I call worshipping.”

Justin giggles – yes, giggles – and nods towards the large cross on the wall. On the cross is a statue of Jesus nailed to it. Justin smiles over at me.

“That’s probably some of the best worshipping he’s seen in years.”


	7. Ungodly

  


The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.  
 **Exodus 4:14**

 

 

_______________________

 

B.K

**Today** : Thursday. _Third_ day of camp.

 

 

 

**Today** : Wednesday, third day of camp.

 

**

 

 

Wednesday is the one day that we’re allowed to sleep in and…I don’t. It’s not that I got up on purpose – I just…got up. _Justin_ on the other hand is out. I get up off the bed and decide to take a shower. What else am I supposed to do while waiting for him to get up? Then a thought occurs to me – I wish someone could join me in said shower. But I’m not stupid and I’m definitely not going to take the risk. I’ve been taking enough risks as it is. Last night had been worth the risk though. Last night had been fucking HOT. When I got sent to this church camp I bet the thought of two teenagers fucking in God’s holy sanctum never crossed Joan’s mind. If only she knew.

 

The look on her face _might_ be worth it. 

 

Worth telling her all about it.

 

I take a quick shower, get dressed in the bathroom, and walk out fully expecting Justin to be up by now. He isn’t. I roll my eyes at his sleeping form and considering waking him up but…he does look pretty tired. Plus, this allows me to stare at him as much as I want without him knowing it. He looks perfect doing anything. Even sleeping. I should keep him out super late more often. I watch him for a few minutes while sitting on my bed. Then I start to feel a little bit…stalkerish and decide to not just…watch him while he’s sleeping. That’s freaky. So I begin pacing around the room, bored. I consider waking him up again but he might not appreciate it. Since when do I care if someone appreciates something or not?

 

Honestly. I never care about that kind of thing. _Usually_.

 

Justin’s different though. Justin’s…Justin. Justin’s… **mine**. 

 

And, _strangely_ , I think I care about him.

_______________________

 

J.T

“It’s about time. I thought you were _dead_.”

 

I put the pillow over my head to block out his voice, despite the fact that I like his voice. Suddenly my pillow disappears and is thrown in a random direction. I’m not sure where because my eyes are closed. Well, they were, but now I stare up at Brian’s scolding face. “You need to get up, young man. It’s twelve. I’ve been sitting around with nothing to do for hours. Plus, the sheet says that there is fun _filled_ activities scheduled in an hour and you missed breakfast. You need some food.”

 

Knowing that I’ll have to get up, I yawn and stretch before slowly sitting up.

 

“Why didn’t you wake me up earlier?”

 

“Because you looked _tired_.”

 

I smile up at him. “Thanks.” He shrugs. “Now you owe me. I had _nothing_ to do except sit here.” He helps me up off the bed and I immediately press my mouth up against his. It’s a natural thing to do; honestly, I can’t not keep my mouth or hands off of him. That would be impossible. I pull back with a smile. “I’m _sure_ I can think of a way to pay you back.” He smiles down at me, hands gripping my waist, and his lips meet mine again. I slide one hand in his hair because I love his hair and my other hand tries to slip into his pants. ‘ _Tries_ ’ being the keyword here. His own hand comes over mine and keeps it from going anywhere near his crotch. I pull away and look up at him with a ‘ _hello! I was about to touch your fucking cock_!’ expression on my face. 

 

He laughs. LAUGHS.

 

“We have to go, Sunshine.”

 

“Says who?”

 

“The sheet up paper with the _schedule_.”

 

“Since when do you listen to _paper_?”

 

He pushes me away but we both know he doesn’t want to…if the boner in his pants is any indication. God, why am I always left feeling horny in the morning? “Get in the shower, Little Boy and hurry up.” I cross my arms over my chest, put a pout on my face, and practically stomp to the bathroom. I just woke up, I’m horny, and I’m being denied of Brian. You have no idea just how much this doesn’t help my mood. I don’t even get to jerk off in the shower because five seconds after I get in I hear Marcus telling Brian to hurry me up and get down to the dining room for lunch. God, life just isn’t fair. I’m left unsatisfied again. I owe my dick the hugest of apologies. Brian better praise it later.

 

When I get out of the shower:

 

“What’s _that_ look for?”

 

I stare at him. What kind of question is that?

 

“What do you think? I’m so _horny_ right now.”

 

I all but whine it. He only smirks. Idiot.

 

“What? Last night wasn’t enough for you?”

 

I latch onto his arm and pull myself against him.

 

“ _Nooo_. I want you so bad. Now.”

 

He smiles and pries me off of him. “Now, we have to go eat.” I sigh and tell my hands to stop touching him. It’s hard. “I’d rather eat something else.” He tells me that he would too but, despite this fact, we both stride out of the cabin and towards the dining room for the lunch that’s sure to be good. Not. We sit at the usual table, Brian and I talk about everything but he mostly just tells me that he can’t wait to sink his dick into my ass tonight, which, in turn, makes me glare at him because he knows that I’m way too horny for him to talk to me that way. Moron. Then we go play games. Flag football is on the list _again_. This time I can’t sit out because I can’t keep up the “hurt foot” thing anymore and I, basically, just stand there.

 

“Hey, Taylor! Too busy inspecting your nails to play?”

 

Ok – There’s this guy. This guy that I’ve known since…forever. This guy that I attend school with. This guy that gets off on making my life a living hell when not under the watchful eyes of adults. This guy that hates me for some unknown reason. Probably because I’m better looking than him. Chris Hobbs. I’m actually surprised. Surprised that he hasn’t said a word to me yet. I can’t believe he’s held back this long. Then I realize why – Marcus and some other camp leader, I think her name is Trish, had wandered off a little ways and seemed to be in a heated discussion about something. Probably something stupid.

 

This is pretty much the first chance that Chris has had to get on me.

 

I glare over at him but don’t reply. I’m smooth like that. Why is he even at a church camp? He’s the most ungodly person I know, well, except Brian and I of course. He smirks and I’m guessing it’s because I didn’t snap back with a comeback. I don’t let on that he’s right about my sexuality because I know that he has no idea what he’s talking about. I hope so anyway. He’s always enjoyed taunting me about checking my nails, checking my makeup, and, basically, being a fag. I don’t know how he could possibly know though. Unless he has a pretty impressive gaydar. I hope I’m not that obvious.

 

But I don’t have to say anything anyway ‘cause Brian does.

 

“Lay off, asshole.”

 

I look over where Marcus and Trish are standing. If they hear anything they don’t let on.

 

“Mind your own fucking business.”

 

“ _Justin_ is my business.”

 

I smile slightly. Chris has no idea how much I am Brian’s business. Good thing he doesn’t have an idea though. Things don’t need to get back to my parents and things especially don’t need to get back to Brian’s father. Except, that wouldn’t matter. Whether Brian believes it or not, I meant everything I had said about him hiding away in my bedroom. Sure, that might be the stupidest thing in the world. I mean, how long can I get away with someone hiding in my closet and my mother or father not finding out. That’s not even possible. But I’ll make it happen. I’ll do anything in my power to get Brian away from that bastard. I’m brought back to reality when Chris suddenly shoves Brian. I guess I missed a few exchanged words.

 

Brian doesn’t fall, he winces a little bit and I can only guess that it’s because of his battered body, but he shoves right back. Chris actually does fall down on the ground and, a second later, Brian is on top of him raining punches down on the boys face. God, Chris is going to look uglier than usual when Brian’s through with him. Then Marcus and Trish are back yelling at the two of them to stop. Brian does, eventually, and is being hauled back up to his feet by Marcus. I almost tell Marcus to not grab him so hard because he’s hurt but I don’t. I’m sure Brian wouldn’t end up appreciating it. Marcus still holding Brian and Trish holding Chris, Marcus demands to know ‘what the heck is going on.’ 

 

Chris lies, of course.

 

“He just attacked me.” 

 

“Liar!”

 

Marcus looks over at me. Oops, I hadn’t meant to say it out loud.

 

“Justin, tell me what happened.”

 

Shit. Why do _I_ have to. God.

 

“Uh – Chris said some mean sh- _stuff_ to me, Brian told him to lay off, Chris didn’t lay off and they got into a fight.”

 

Marcus nods towards Chris.

 

“You come with me and we’ll have a talk after we get you cleaned up,”

 

He looks at Brian who, to put it lightly, looks pissed.

 

“You go down to your cabin and give yourself time to cool off.”

 

Brian quickly pulls himself out of the man’s grasp, I don’t blame him, and hurries off towards the cabins. Then Marcus turns to me. What could he possibly want with me _now_? “Do you need to talk to me about anything?” WHAT? What is he talking about? What does he want? To be my personal counselor? **Psycho**. I quickly shake my head and take a few steps back. “No…thanks.” He nods. Wait, did he look oddly disappointed? I don’t have time to make sure because he’s walking away with Chris in tow. Trish takes over the rest of us – all the good doers look shocked at everything that had just happened – and we continue the game, which is me not participating.

 

Then we move on to other activities: a canoe trip around the lake, a small group session where you talk about God and read the Bible, small ten minute break period where you’re forced to sit at picnic tables and either read a devotion or the Bible, and then dinner. Brian didn’t show up for the rest of the day and that’s not good for me. I need to see him. He’d definitely make a sight for my very, very sore eyes. Chris came back but, thankfully, he avoided me like a plague. I anxiously wait through dinner for Brian to show up and he, of course, predictably doesn’t show up. I dread the second I walk up to Marcus to ask him if I can go see if he’s alright.

 

“Sure you can, Justin, just hurry back for chapel in ten minutes.”

 

I nod, tell him thank you, and practically run to our cabin. When I get in he’s sitting on his bed reading a magazine. He smiles at me when I walk in and I glare. “When were you planning on joining us again?” He shrugs, a confused look on his face. “Uh, I wasn’t. Would you if you had the chance to “cool off” for the rest of the day?” I shake my head and sit down next to him. “Yeah, but you left me there with nothing good to look at or talk to the rest of the day.” His smile comes back onto his face and he throws the magazine aside and bends over, takes my face in his hands, and kisses me until I’m dizzy and probably forgetting all about him “ditching” me all day.

 

“You’ll have to punish me later then.”

 

I grin, eyes still closed and still tasting him on my mouth. He kisses me again and, in seconds, I’m on his lap with his arms around me, his cock grinding against my ass. Then I remember that I need to leave. _Dammitdammitdammit_. I pull away, cheeks probably pink and lips swollen and, of course, breathless. “I have to go.” He groans and his head bangs against the wall. “What? Why? _Where_?” I smile and slowly, and regretfully, off his lap and off his bed. I paste up the most disgusting images of old straight people screwing each other to get rid of my hard cock. It works like a charm.

 

“Chapel. I told Marcus I was just coming over to make sure you were alright. Can you come?”

 

“Obviously not _now_.”

 

I grin and grab his hand and try to pull him off the bed.

 

“C’mon, please. For _me_?”

 

I grin and bat my eyelashes at him playfully. He rolls his eyes but does give in and walks with me all the way to the worship center. Maybe this was a bad idea, coming here. Because when we walk in we end up being seated right **there**. Right where we were last night. Right where we had an extremely hot fuck last night. Great, just great, I’m getting hard all over again. Brian smirks over at me as I shift in my seat but I can see I’m not the only one reveling in the thoughts of last night. Thank God we’re _both_ wearing big shirts and baggy pants. We wouldn’t want anyone to get the right idea here.

_______________________

 

B.K

Sitting here is…not good.

 

Sure, the thoughts are good but the physically happenings of said thoughts are not good. Through the entire chapel service we’re both shifting in our seats and, probably, earning odd looks from other people in the worship center. I try to distract myself but when everyone starts singing praise and worship songs I hear Justin join in and, well, he can sing. And lets just say that he has a fucking great voice and I can no longer be distracted because I like listening to it and it doesn’t help anything. Damn him. _Damnhimdamnhimdamnhim_.

 

When it’s over the two of us walks as normally as we both can, sit on opposite beds as calmly as we both can until Marcus checks in on us and flips off the switch. Then I’m up and walking towards his bed. It’s about time. 

 

**Finally**.


	8. Ungodly

  


Avoid it, do not travel on it; turn from it and go on your way.  
 **Proverbs 4:15**

**___________________**

**J.T**   


Today: Thursday _evening_. Still third day of camp.

***

 

I can’t even begin to express _how_ fucking relieved I am when I hear Brian’s feet padding across the small expanse of floor and then the weight of his body on my bed. So, so, SO relieved. I let out a huge sigh of relief and happiness for extra affect. In the dark, Brian laughs at me, low and quiet. I love his laugh – especially when he’s horny. It’s all…husky and deep and sexy. I reach up as his body hovers over mine and thrust my hands in his hair and bring his lips down to meet mine. I also love his hair, love grabbing it, and love his hands ‘cause his hands are, as I’ve sad so many times before, beautiful. And gentle as they slip up inside my shirt.

 

 

I love his mouth and the way if feels devouring me. Or when he just smiles. I love his smile. His ‘I’m sexy and you and I both know it’ smile. My hands slide away from his head and down his back to grab the hem of his shirt and pull it up over his head. Then my hands are splayed across the skin of his back. I love his skin; it’s so impossibly smooth despite the scars and scratches decorating it. His tongue slides into my mouth to meet mine and I realize that I love his tongue too. I love the way it feels sliding across my skin and invading my mouth. I love **everything** about Brian Kinney. I wonder if it’s possible to actually love someone in the time span of just a few days.

 

 

He sighs into my mouth and I know it _is_ possible.

 

Because I’m in fucking deep, **DEEP** love with him.

 

And I don’t think there’s a way out. That’s how deep.

 

 

My shirt is pulled up over my head and his lips slide away from my own, now swollen and bruised from his ferocity, and slide down the flushed skin of my chest, teeth biting my tender skin. I mark easily so I can only imagine how many hickies he’s leaving on me right now. With my luck, we’ll be swimming tomorrow and everyone will see and wonder and things might slowly being to fall into place. Shit, I hope that doesn’t happen. My worries are kicked away when Brian’s fingers tug on my pants. I lift my hips up off the bed automatically and they’re quickly pulled off and thrown to the floor carelessly. 

 

He’s on top of me again. He has too much clothes on.

His pants need to go.

 

“Take them off,”

 

I ram my hips purposely against his.

 

“I want to feel you so _bad_.”

 

His lips lift off my skin; he grins, and complies, hurriedly pulling off his pants to reveal himself in all his perfectbeautifulhotwonderful naked glory. He crawls back over me and sucks on my throat, mouth moving and tongue teasing into the hollow of said throat. I tilt my head back allowing him to do more of his sinful acts to my throat. It feels good – better than I could have imagined. I mean, it’s only my _throat_. He dips his tongue into my hollow again and I don’t even try to suppress the moan that streams out of my mouth. Then he stops all lip/tongue action and moves back so that he’s sitting between my legs.

 

 

“Sit up.”

 

His voice is low but very controlling. I do as he asks and sit cross-legged in front of him and wait for his next command. “Get on your hands and knees.” His commanding is a major turn on for me and I quickly do what he says. My dick is painfully hard right now and, if I hope to get any release soon, then I need to do exactly what he says without any mistakes. Feeling slightly nervous all of the sudden, I turn around and place myself on my hands and knees like he ordered. I feel oddly…vulnerable? Displayed? I don’t know what the right word is. Maybe _embarrassed_ showing myself to him like this?

 

 

I don’t know why I would be though.

 

 

So I push the feeling away and the feel of Brian on his knees right behind me, cock teasing my ass, and his hand sliding down my spine help push it away until it’s nonexistent. I push back against him impatiently and it earns me a slightly hard slap on my right cheek. The tingling pain quickly dissolves and turns into pleasure more than anything. “Be _patient_.” God, I’m dying here, his extremely hot show of dominance is getting to my dick. A lot. I groan and tell my body to obey and not move, however, that’s hard when the god behind you has his dick right _there_. His hands proceed to travel back up my spine, over my shoulders, and then down my sides coming closer and closer to my ass.

 

 

My body jerks back against him again but I can’t help it. His hand slaps down across my ass again and the tingling pain slowly turns into pleasure and makes my dick, if this is even possible, harder. “What’d I _say_ , Taylor?” I don’t answer. I’m not aware that I’m even supposed to answer him. I hang my head and concentrate on keeping my breathing steady and, also, on not jerking back against him like that. He suddenly slaps me again and a strangled moan is yanked out of my mouth in response. “Justin, I asked you a question. _Answer_ me.” Oh fucking god. I’m going to fucking cum if he doesn’t cut the act soon and fuck me. Hard.

 

“Y-you said to be…”

 

I let out a long breath. His hand coming around my hips and stroking my dick make it extremely hard to answer anything. He slaps me again with his free hand and I moan out, which I’m not sure I’m even allowed to do but, if I’m not, he gives me mercy and doesn’t slap me. “I said to be _what_?” I let out a shaky breath, my skin becoming raw where he has slapped me repeatedly, and force my mouth to answer him. “ **Patient**.” He leans forward, chest resting just slightly across my back, dick teasing my ass even more, and his mouth hovering near my ear, breath giving me goose bumps. “Good boy.” He tugs my dick a few times before releasing it and, still, leaving me unsatisfied.

 

His hand gently caresses the freshly-slapped and extremely tender skin of my ass and his fingers slowly stroke. I can hear the smirk in his voice. “Did you _like_ that, Taylor? Did you _like_ being spanked?” I let out a inaudible yes. It’s on accident. But I can hardly breathe and he expects me to talk normal? I don’t think so. But, it earns me a hard slap across my very tender skin anyway. I let out a strangled moan/cry and grip the sheets beneath my fingers. I’m surprised I haven’t collapsed from being extremely horny with no release. “Louder.” I nod, draw in a deep breath, and, “Y-yes.” It must be loud enough for him because he begins caressing the raw skin again under the gentle pads of his fingers.

 

“Did it hurt?”

 

“Yeah…”

 

“Did it feel _good_ , Justin?”

 

“Y-yes…”

 

 

My voice gets slightly quieter but, I guess, not too quiet because he doesn’t spank me. “Does it make you _hard_?” Yes, very, very hard. I answer but, again, it’s almost inaudible. This time he spanks me on the other cheek. The one that hasn’t even been touched yet. A new round of pain and pleasure travel towards my leaking cock. I clench tighter to the bed sheets and realize that my body is shaking. He better hurry before I die. I can only imagine the headline in the newspaper tomorrow morning. “ _Young Man Dies of Horniness_ ”: talk about embarrassing. “I said louder.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Yes, what?”

 

“Yes, _yes_ , it makes me hard.”

 

His hand begins caressing again.

 

“What makes you hard?”

 

He’s milking this for all it’s worth. I’m never letting him do this again. Ok, I’d probably do anything that he asked of me because he’s…Brian. “Y-you…spanking me.” His fingers grab the hair in the back of my head and he’s leaning over me again. He pulls my head back and forces his lips against mine in a long, searing, and bruising kiss that I’ll probably never forget. A kiss that’ll probably make me hard just by thinking about it when I’m bored. He pulls back, both of us breathing hard, and both our lips extremely swollen. He smiles a small smile at me. “ _Good boy_. You’re a good listener.” He pulls back again and I feel him get up off the bed. I start to move and maybe sit down but his hand is suddenly colliding with my ass again.

 

 

“I didn’t tell you to move.”

 

 

Or I’ll just stay like this, on all fours. I feel him get on the bed again a few moments later and I know he had gotten a condom and his lube. I had heard the rustling noise of the fabric of his pants. I hear the condom package rip open and a small grunt as he puts it on. I wish I could look back at him, watch him, I love watching him prepare me with his fingers. I love watching him period. I listen as the lube is opened and wait impatiently as he spreads it on his fingers, warms it up, and places one of his hands on the base of my spine. The index finger of his other hand moves around my hole, teasing me. I bite my bottom lip, hard, and tell myself not to move, although, the prospect of getting slapped might make me change my mind.

 

 

The whole spanking thing is extremely hot.

 

 

His finger invades and my breath hitches. He quickly stills and lets me adjust to the sensation. His middle finger is next, slowly inching inside. I bite my lip harder to keep from saying something. He hasn’t told me I can speak so I won’t. Then a third finger and I’m biting my lip so hard I taste blood. Fuck, I’m hurting myself. I don’t release my lip though. For some reason I can’t. His fingers suddenly scissor inside me and I can’t suppress the gaspy cry that slides out of my mouth. He doesn’t spank me. Instead, he pulls his fingers out and he leaves me painfully empty. Then he’s kneeling right behind me again, fingers curling into my hips and, with a grunt, he shoves forward and eases himself inside of me.

 

 

“Yesss…”

 

 

One of his hands slides up my spine and grabs the hair at the back of my head again, yanks my head back, and begins thrusting for all it’s worth as he forces his lips against mine. His hand is gripping my hip in a painful but pleasurable grip as he speeds up the process, balls slapping against my ass and his dick pumping against my prostate in a different pattern every thrust. I’m fucking dizzy with everything that’s going on. My back arches against his chest, my fingers curl painfully tight into the sheets, his teeth bite down into my shoulder and I’m coming, a shaky mess beneath him. A few more thrusts and he’s next, collapsing on top of me. I quickly fall on my stomach and bury my face in my pillow. God – that had been…hot. He should play commando more often.

 

 

A few moments later he slides out of me and the condom is thrown away somewhere, hopefully somewhere that Marcus won’t see when he wakes us up in the morning, and he stays on my back a few minutes more, breathing slowing back down to normal in my ear. I almost ask him to stay. I almost tell him that I don’t care if we’re caught. I just want him to stay in bed with me but I don’t because that would be stupid and, when he lifts up off of me, I ignore the abandoned feeling in the pit of my stomach. I get off my bed too but only to change the sheets since I just came all over them. Good thing I brought some sheets from home. I hadn’t known the beds were already going to have sheets.

 

 

I change them and I can feel Brian’s eyes on me as I do.

 

 

“How’s your ass?”

 

 

I grin at him over my shoulder.

 

 

“Sore. You’re brutal.” 

 

 

“You liked it, whiner.”

 

He comes up behind me, arms wrapping around me, and kisses me on the side of the neck. Then he pulls away and settles himself in his own bed. “I did.” He says he knew it and I tuck myself in under my blankets and stare up at the ceiling and listen to Brian’s steady breathing. I look over at his bed but I can’t see him. The moon isn’t out tonight so it isn’t providing any light in the cabin. So, I stare into darkness.

 

 

“Brian?”

 

 

“Hmm…”

 

He sounds groggy, tired and half asleep. I draw in a deep, fearful breath.

 

 

“I-I think I love you.”

 

 

He doesn’t say anything and, for some reason, I hadn’t expected him to.

___________________

**B. K**

**Today** : Thursday. Fourth day of camp.

***

He told me he **loved** me.

 

After he said that last night I hadn’t been able to sleep. Hell, I didn’t even close my eyes. _“I-I think I love you.”_ That was too busy ringing shrilly in my ears. I didn’t say anything and if he cared about my silence he didn’t say that he did. About ten minutes later I heard his breath slow, deep, and steady and I knew he was asleep. He told me he loved me. What am I supposed to do? Love is…such a strong word. Love isn’t something I’ve ever been familiar with. The only love I know is the love that I see when I’m at home, which is usually slaps across the face and other abusive acts.

 

I look over at the window as the sun slowly rises and then down at the blond who’s still fast asleep. His hair’s a complete mess, flying in all directions, and his chest is revealed to have hundreds of hickies I must have left there last night. His blanket just barley covers his narrow hips. My eyes travel back up to his face; his lips that are still bruised from last nights extremely hot activities. He had been so hot, listening to me, shaking beneath me. It had been to watch to see his skin go from pale to pink under the palm of my hands. I shake my head and look up at the ceiling. 

 

_“Brian, I-I think I love with you…”_

 

 

I curse under my breath and ram the heels of my hands against my eyes. I ease out of bed, take a shower, and get dressed as quietly as possible so he doesn’t wake up. He doesn’t and I look over at the clock. Marcus will be here in about ten minutes to wake us up. Still feeling shocked and confused, I hurry out of the cabin and head towards the dining hall. There are other people awake too. I pass Marcus on the way there and he politely offers me a greeting. I only nod. _“I-I think I love with you.”_ I tell my head to shut the fuck up. I don’t want to think about it anymore but…I can’t stop. His timid, slightly fearful, voice rings loud in my ears and I don’t know what to do except sit at a table I usually don’t sit at with people I usually don’t sit with and hope that the seat in front of me is taken so he won’t be able to sit with me today.

 

 

Love. Love. Love. **Love**.

 

 

I’ve never loved anyone before. I’ve never even loved any of my relatives and with good reason. I wasn’t even aware that I could love? So, do I love Justin Taylor? Can I even think about loving another human being? For God’s sake, I can’t even think about loving a fucking dog! Justin Taylor. When I think about him I feel…different. I’m not even about to say that I feel fucking fuzzy because, no, that’s not a word I use. But I feel…fine, I feel fucking fuzzy when I’m around him, when I’m fucking him, when I’m kissing him, when I’m thinking about him…when I’m **anythinging** him. Fuck – now I’m making up words. Someone sits in front of me and the last spot is taken.

 

Ten minutes later when Justin walks in I avoid his hurt and confused stare.

 

And I ignore the sick feeling I feel when he sits alone.

___________________

**J.T**   


This is **my** fault.

 

I shouldn’t have told him how I felt. I’m such a fucking idiot. I look away from him and quickly sit down at our, my, normal table and act as if I’m not hurt by his abandoning me and making me sit alone. I try not to look over at him while I eat but I do anyway. Once I even met his gaze. He quickly looks away though and I feel a sick, hurt feeling inside of me. I eat faster so I can get out of the dining room and then hurry out of there like a bat out of hell. I practically run all the way back to the cabin, suddenly feeling like I want to cry. So, I do and pray that Brian doesn’t come back and see me.

 

 

Once I calm myself down, Brian hasn’t even made an appearance; I look down at the paper with the schedule for Thursday on it. We have free time until twelve. That’s…hours from now. It’s only nine now. I fold the schedule and shove it in the pocket of my jeans. Then I head out. Brian’s nowhere to be seen. At first anyway. When I first see him he’s by the lake with a few other people. He isn’t really talking to them but he is standing with them, basically, following them around. When he sees me he quickly looks away and does _everything_ in his power to act like I’m not there. 

 

 

To put it lightly:

 

 

…I feel like total shit.


	9. Ungodly

  


1 Give me relief from my distress  
 **Psalm 4:1**

**:::::::::::**

**J.T**   


**Today** : Friday _evening_.

***

 

I hadn’t even bothered going to lunch. What was the point? Why would I want to put myself through that torment all over again? So, instead of eating, I had sat by the lake the entire time hoping that Marcus wouldn’t come looking for me. That was the last thing I had needed at the time. Lucky for me, he hadn’t. When lunch had let out at two there had been an hour of “free time” where you could, obviously, do whatever the hell you wanted. I had settled with sitting on the grass near the lake, leaning against the large trunk of a tree, and sketching. What else could I do?

 

 

I hadn’t befriended anyone here except Brian.

 

 

And I knew I couldn’t go looking for him for something to do.

 

I had royally screwed up. After “free time” everyone had gone swimming. I had told Marcus I didn’t feel good and would rather watch. He believed me. Probably because I _really_ didn’t feel good. So, he let me just sit there on the grass and watch while the others enjoyed the cool water of the lake. I cursed mentally when I let my eyes wander over to Brian’s shirtless form. Did I mention _wet_ shirtless form? I had spent the rest of that time looking at everywhere but in Brian’s direction, inwardly hoping that he would walk over and treat me normally seeing as I wasn’t about to walk around and make friends.

 

He hadn’t.

 

So, that’s why I’m walking all alone after dinner back to the cabin.

 

Being alone fucking sucks. No one should express their feelings. Whoever the hell said it was a good thing to do was high. Or just really stupid. Suddenly something is thrown at me. It’s hard. It’s a small rock. Startled, I stop walking and turn around. Oh, Chris. 

“Hey, Taylor, what happened to your _boyfriend_? Fight?”

 

This has got to be the one thing that I hadn’t wanted to happen at the moment. I roll my eyes at the stupid comment, choose to ignore it, and begin walking back towards my cabin. He follows me. I can hear him. He isn’t exactly quiet. He’s so fucking stupid, that’s what he is.

 

“Ignoring me now, fag?”

 

“That was the plan.”

 

“You shouldn’t.”

 

I choose not to answer again because I’m getting really, really annoyed and I don’t want to say anything I’ll regret. Suddenly, I’m being grabbed, dragged towards the lake, and shoved in. Fucktard. It’s not like I don’t know how to swim. He could’ve done worst – not that I’m going to come out and ask him to. He runs off laughing like it’s the most hilarious thing in the world – me getting wet. Who wouldn’t find the humor in that? Though, I will admit that I had swallowed a gallon of the water and was now sputtering and choking on it. Two hands soon help me out and hold me steady as I bend over still coughing.

 

Chris is such a **retard**.

 

 

I slowly stand up straight once the choking subsides and meet the eyes of the one person I had wanted to talk to all day but had ignored me like I was a disgusting disease. I wrench my arm out of his hand and push him away. “Get the fuck away from me, Brian.” He doesn’t look offended and a part of me wishes he would be offended. That he would be hurt since I don’t want him around but obviously, that isn’t going to happen because _he’s_ the one that doesn’t want _me_ around.

 

“Are you alright?”

 

I scoff and, arms crossed over my wet chest, begin to head towards the cabin.

 

“Like you care.”

 

“Well, are you?”

 

“It’s nothing a _towel_ can’t fix.”

 

We both finish our walk to the cabin in complete uncomfortable silence. I push ahead of him and hurry inside and then proceed to slam myself into the bathroom with a towel. I dry myself off, feeling angrier and more stupid by the second. _‘You should have kept your mouth shut, Taylor. Stupid idiot.’_ Once I’m dry, my hair still damp, I change into some dry clothes and head back out of the bathroom. I ignore Brian as I walk past his bed and get into mine, pull the covers up to my chin, and stare up at the ceiling. 

 

I wait for one of us to say something – preferably him.

 

After all, he is the one who should be saying something. How about a nice sorry for ignoring me all day? Is that too much to ask for? Of course it is so that’s why I’m the one who ends up speaking first.

 

“Are you going to continue avoiding me?”

 

He doesn’t say anything at first and I figure he’s just going to ignore me but,

 

“I’m _not_ avoiding you.”

 

“Brian – fuck you.”

:::::::::::

**B.K**   


**Today** : Saturday. Last night of camp.

 

He’s taken me avoiding him hard. Really hard. 

 

But none of this is **my** fault. If I had _known_ that screwing him a few times would make him fall in love with me you can guarantee that I would have never even said the word hi to him. God, he wasn’t supposed to fall in love with me. He was supposed to have a good time, enjoy it all, and just…not fall in love with me. I should have never popped his cherry. My fucking dick has gotten me into a hole that I can’t get out of.

 

Yes, siree, it has.

 

Why would he fall in love with _me_? I’m a bastard. I’m uncaring. I’m…evil. ‘ _You were never evil to him…until now._ ’ True. Why, I don’t know. It’s kind of hard to be mean to someone who looks so cute all the time. And innocent. And perfect like him. You try being mean to him. It’s damn near impossible. No, let me correct myself: it **is** impossible. And not only am I avoiding him now – he’s avoiding me. “ _Brian – fuck you_.” Ouch. I suppose I had deserved that last night. I mean, I was totally lying. We’re both smart and know that.

 

I don’t even know why I lied.

 

Probably because I had no idea how to respond.

 

“Justin.”

 

He’s eating lunch at our table – my old table – with his back to me. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. I’m probably trying to “patch things up” so I don’t have to feel so bad when I see him sitting all one **all the time**. I’m sure there’s another reason to this madness, fixing things. ‘ _Yeah, you like him you fucking shallow idiot._ ’ But I’m pretty sure that’s not it. Ok, Actually, I’m pretty sure that is it. I do like him. Do I love him? That’s a topic I don’t even want to get into right now. Love is…never mind. That word can be discussed when I’ve had about…a million beers.

 

His head spins around and his frowning face looks up at me.

 

“What do _you_ want? This is the reject table.”

 

Someone’s grumpy. ‘ _Because of you_.’

 

“Can I sit down?”

 

“I don’t know – _can_ you?”

 

“ _May_ I sit down?”

 

I roll my eyes down at him. God, he’s so annoying sometimes. I guess I deserve it though. But, I have to remember that all of this is HIS fault.

 

“No.”

 

“I will anyway.”

 

“I know.”

 

“Well, I’m glad you know.”

 

I sit down across from him. Even thought the two of us aren’t really talking to each other I feel a million times more comfortable sitting here than I had ever felt over at the other table. Maybe because at the other table girls flirted with me. That has to be a huge reason for my uncomfortable feeling over there. I also know, however, that I…oh god…this is going to sound totally retarded and **gay** …but I miss Justin. A lot. Stupid blond idiot. Provoking these unwanted feelings out of me. He doesn’t meet my eyes when I look at him from across the table. He stares down at his food like it’s the best thing in the world.

 

And everyone in the cafeteria knows that isn’t true.

 

This food is disgusting.

 

“Justin,”

 

“Is there something you want?”

 

Uh – yes.

 

“Yes.”

 

He looks at me now, eyebrow raised and an annoyed look on his face.

 

“ _What_?”

 

“You.”

 

“You have a fucked up way of showing it.”

 

I smile and shrug. And me smiling might not be the best thing to do at the moment. He narrows his eyes at me and looks back down at his food.

 

“Fuck you.”

 

God – he loves saying that to me doesn’t he? I don’t care though. I’m going to get him back if it’s the last thing I do. And don’t even ask me why I’m so determined to get one little person back into my fucked up life. Probably because he doesn’t make it as fucked up.

 

“If that’s what it takes.”

 

His head snaps up and I think his cheeks start to turn a light shade of pink. But he’s quick to duck his head again. “I – you – whatever, Brian. You’re the one who…fucked me over. Why are you so determined to… _fix_ things? I’m sure that there are millions of guys who’d love to be fucked by you one minute and won’t mind getting fucked over the next. Not me.” He gets up and heads towards the doors that’ll lead us outside. I quickly jump out of my seat and follow him. Like I’m going to let him get away that easily. As soon as we’re outside and away from prying eyes I grab his wrist and pull him to a quick stop.

 

“I didn’t mean to.”

 

“Hah, yeah, ok. Let _go_ of me.”

 

I don’t comply. It’s only been a day but I’d rather not deprive myself of the feel of his skin any longer. 

 

“I’m serious, Justin.”

 

“Let go of me, asshole.”

 

“Won’t you just _hear_ me out?”

 

He stops struggling away and I reluctantly drop his wrist. He immediately crosses his arms over his chest and stands there, stubborn and angry frown on his face, and holds his narrowed flashing eyes on me. Ok, now that I’ve got him still I just need to think of what to say. Without sounding totally ridiculous. I’m not so sure I want to even tell the truth. God – why do things have to be so fucking hard? My life was easy – in the… _love_ department anyway – until he came along.

 

“I – I freaked.”

 

He scoffs.

 

“Obviously.”

 

I ignore the comment and continue. Well, try.

 

“You don’t understand.”

 

“What’s not to understand?”

 

“You **can’t** love me. That’s not possible.”

 

He doesn’t say anything for a minute. Maybe he’ll run away and I’ll be spared this little…lame talk that we’re having. “Too bad.” Fuck him. I run a hand through my hair. “You don’t love me.” He shrugs, aggravated look replacing his glare. “Shut up, Brian. You can’t tell me how I feel. Just because your fucked up family can’t seem to love you doesn’t mean that I can’t,” So maybe he does understand me, though…he’d be the only one who does.

 

“So you can go back to your…’nobody loves me world’ and leave me alone.”

 

He turns around and starts to walk away. I can’t let him do that. He can’t just…walk away from me. Instead of going after him like I want to, I watch his retreating back as he heads towards the cabin. When he’s no longer seeable I turn around and head in the opposite direction. I have some fucking heavy thinking to do. 

 

And it’s all Justin Taylor’s fault.

:::::::::::

**J.T**   


**Today** : Saturday _evening_. Last night of camp.

 

When I had gotten to the cabin I had had some heavy thinking to do.

 

He obviously has a problem with the L word. And I can only guess it’s because of his family. I mean, it has to be because of his family. They don’t exactly show great examples for the L word. _Their_ kind of love is, like fists, belts and other acts of punishment or torment on Brian. 

 

I look over at the clock. Ten.

 

I missed praise and worship I guess. Brian’s not back yet so he probably went. I sit cross-legged on my bed with my chin held in the palm of my hand and wait for him to get back. I don’t exactly know what I’ll say to him when he gets back and he sees that I’m still awake. What can I say? I’m hurt that he’s avoided me like a plague but I’m also hurt for him. Maybe I should just let it all drop and accept his apology. Yeah. That’d be the best thing to do.

 

I wait for an hour and he finally comes back. With Marcus in tow.

 

“You need to watch your language, Brian.”

 

“Sorr- _rry_.” 

 

“Alright – goodnight, boys. Lights out in five minutes.”

 

Brian sulks into the cabin, frown on his face and looking extra grumpy. He doesn’t bother saying hi. He doesn’t even meet my eye or so much as look at me. Great – I’ve probably made him hate me. He flips the light off and darkness consumes everything. The moon is blocked by heavy clouds again so I can’t see anything. Sighing heavily, I get out of my bed and pad over a few steps until I’m standing next to his bed.

 

I wonder if he knows I’m standing here. 

 

I wonder if he senses me.

 

If he does he doesn’t acknowledge it.

 

“B-Brian?”

 

“What?”

 

He sounds extremely grumpy too.

 

Sighing, I sit down on the edge of his bed near his hip and hope that he doesn’t shove me onto the floor because he doesn’t want me on here. If he doesn’t want me on here he doesn’t say so and he doesn’t push me off either. “I – I’ve been thinking – about what you said.” He sighs and rolls over on his side so that his back is facing me. Fucker. He’s just going to ignore me probably so what’s the point of speaking? I tread on, looking down at my hands.

“And…I’ve decided that no matter _what_ you say or how _fucked_ up you are towards me and no matter how much you _avoid_ me…I still l-love you. So, you might as well give up. But…I understand perfectly why you can’t accept that. You don’t trust,”

 

“That’s not true,”

 

“ **I’m** talking.”

 

His silence takes over once again and I continue.

 

“You don’t trust me. You think I’ll _hurt_ you – like your family. I won’t though. Incase you haven’t noticed…you’re the one doing the hurting here.”

 

I don’t know what else to say so I move to get off the bed and retreat to mine and wonder if we’ll be friends again in the morning or if he’ll continue on avoiding me. He’s quickly turning over again and grabbing my hand in his own to keep me from leaving and this time I don’t tell him to let go of me because I actually want to listen to what he has to say in response. I sigh and make sure to avoid all eye contact because…because and wait for him to say something. Anything.

 

“I – I know.”

 

“Ok.”

 

I wait for him to go on. Maybe he won’t go on. Maybe I know is all he has to say. Whatever – that’s fine by me. I’ve never been good at this kind of thing and, obviously, he isn’t either. He worst then I am!

 

“You’re right – about me.”

 

“I know.”

 

“But…I’m willing to take risks.”

 

I smile slightly.

 

“ _I’m_ a risk?”

 

“Definitely.”

 

I feel him sit up and his hand wraps around the back of my neck and draws my head closer. Soon my face is only centimeters away from his. I smile slightly and nudge my nose against his briefly. “Than…I’d really like you to take me.” He smiles and his lips crash against mine with more force than I was planning on receiving. I had no trouble keeping up – tongues sliding into each other’s mouths for the first time in, like, two days. Sure, it hasn’t been that long but it’s been too long. His arms wrap sturdily around me and pull me close, my body on top of his, legs entangling and cocks gathering friction against each other.

 

I pull away gasping for air and give him a smile, hands tangled in his hair.

 

“Did you mean what you said – about me fucking _you_ …if that’s what it took?”


	10. Ungodly

  


'This is how you can show your love to me.’  
 **Genesis 20:13**

**xxx**

**B.K**   


“Did you mean what you said – about me fucking _you_ …if that’s what it took?”

 

Damndamndamn. I should have _never_ said that. What had I been thinking? I hadn’t been thinking – Fuckfuckfuck. I can’t say no to him though. My mouth won’t let myself. My brain won’t let my fucking self reject him for some really fucking stupid reason. My stupid brain is actually telling me I want him to do this. I can’t want this. I’m a top – I’ve always been a top. No questions asked. I’ve always been a top who has never asked someone to top me. He must notice my expression – God, I hope I don’t _look_ scared at the prospect of him topping me! – and he shakes his head.

 

“Never mind, I don’t need to do,”

 

I cut him off by kissing him because, fuck, I’m going to let him top me for some extremely retarded reason. I want this or I never would’ve offered it to him in the first place. I pull back, heart beating probably faster and harder than it ever has before, and cup his face with my hands. His bodies practically on top of me now, noses almost touching, and he’s looking at me with this concerned little look of ‘are you sure’ and I kiss him once more. Maybe to reassure him that he’s going to fuck me, dammit.

 

“Do you want to?”

 

He takes a minute to answer me.

 

“If you don’t,”

 

“I asked _you if you wanted to_. Answer me.”

 

“Yes, but,”

 

“You’ll be careful? Go slow?”

 

He swallows and tries to pull away from me but I don’t let him.

 

“Yes, Brian, But I,”

 

“Justin, just…be quiet.”

 

His mouth clamps shut and he just stares at me, unsure look across his face. Probably because of my hesitance. Well, of course I’m going to be hesitant! I don’t even know why I want this. I’ve never wanted ( **needed** \- this feeling is more like need I think) anyone to fuck me. I don’t know why I feel this fucking way and I’m confused as to why I don’t find myself hating the particular feeling. I slide a hand up into his hair and press out lips together again trying to reassure him that all of this is ok. Fine with me – even though I’m fucking confused.

 

“I want you to, Sunshine.”

 

“Are-are you sure?”

 

“Yeah, I’m sure…”

 

He looks away for a moment, tongue coming out to dart across his swollen lips nervously.

 

 

“I-I don’t know…what to do, though. I don’t want to hurt you; I don’t have any exper,” 

 

I cut him off, shaking him lightly to get him to look back at me.

 

“Shh – you won’t hurt me, I promise.”

 

“How do you know?”

 

I wonder if we’re even talking about fucking anymore.

 

“Because I know.”

 

Plus – **I’m** usually the one doing the hurting here.

 

Justin leans in close again, lips brushing just slightly, and he pulls away, arms wrapping around my neck and his body draping over mine. He meets my eyes and he tells me that he’ll do his best not to hurt me – and, just from the look in his eyes, I know we’re not talking about him fucking me anymore. We’re talking about “us”. I don’t know how I let us become an “us” but, confusing myself even more, I don’t find myself disliking the feeling of “us.” I swallow and capture his lips in mine but he pulls away and slowly gets off of me, grabbing my arm and pulling me out of the bed.

 

 

I stand there in the darkness and watch him as he watches his fingers slowly undo the buttons down my shirt, eyes fixated on them with all concentration in the dark. He gets to the last one and shoves my shirt off of my shoulders, eyes meeting mine for a few seconds before bowing his head again and going for the button on my jeans. It might be a trick of the light – Then I realize there is no light so my theory is fucked – but I think his hands are shaking. Actually shaking as he pulls down my jeans. I step out of them and kick them away and he leaves me by myself for a few seconds to walk towards the door, make sure it’s locked, and place something heavy in front of it before anything continues.

 

When he’s back his eyes inspect me.

 

“You’re healing.”

 

I look down at my self. At the bruises and scratches and realize that he’s right. I look up, meet his eyes, and offer him a smile. A real genuine smile.

 

“Thanks to you.”

 

He grins and stands on his tiptoes to reach my lips with his in a rough, passionate kiss until neither of us can breathe. His mouth leaves mine and travels down my neck, across my chest, he takes the time to take each hard nipple into his mouth for the desired amount of time and I’m sure I moaned a couple million times. He probably got an ass load of satisfaction in that. His lips left them, cold air consuming them now instead of his hot mouth, and he lowers himself steadily to his knees, tongue dipping into my belly button on the way. I think he has an infatuation with it. A belly button fetish. Hey, I can live with that. 

 

I reach down and burrow my hands into his hair, head falling back as he kisses my thighs, being extremely careful to not so much as brush against my erect cock or full balls. When he stops kissing me, I look down to see his eyes looking up at me, hesitation in his voice when he speaks.

 

“Can I,”

 

“Yes, _yeah_ , Sunshine.”

 

He grins at my eagerness and next I feel his warm, wet tongue brushing along the underside of my cock, brushing against my slit, and then pulling back. I groan in frustration. I want more. I **need** more. Now. And he knows it too. He blows warm air out of his mouth and onto my cock and I clench my hands tighter in his hair and try to draw his mouth to my dick. It doesn’t work. He’s a stubborn ass sometimes. His hands each grab my hips and hold me steady and he finally, FINALLY, takes the head of my cock into his mouth, inching forward and taking more of me, tongue pushing hard against my piss hole, a hand coming down to roll my balls around in his palm.

 

And I can’t believe he’s never given head before.

 

Fucking natural.

 

His hand, sadly, abandons my balls and latches onto my hip again and, oh fucking fuck, he swallows. Are you even allowed to do that your first time giving head? 

 

“Oh, _fuck_ , Justin!”

 

His throat tightens and, if I’m lucky, I won’t come right now.

 

As if reading my thoughts he quickly releases my dick and lets his fall from his mouth. He’s quickly back up on his feet, arms wrapping around my neck, and his mouth slamming against mine. When he pulls back he shoots me an unsure look.

 

“H-how was…it?”

 

How can he even ask that? Is he being serious? His innocence is almost too much to handle.

 

 

“It was great. Really fucking excellent. Are you sure you’ve never sucked cock before?”

 

 

He grins, look of satisfaction on his face.

 

 

“Maybe in another life.”

 

“Do you even believe in that?”

 

He grins.

 

“No.”

 

“Thought so.”

 

 

I decide that he has way too many clothes on. He has all his clothes on for fucks sake and I quickly lift his shirt up over his head and throw it on the floor next to my abandoned clothes. Next his pants are off and we’re finally both naked instead of just me – not that I _mind_ being naked. I draw him against me, our skin flush against each other, and devour his mouth, tongues mating and breaths becoming familiar with each other for the millionth time tonight. He pulls back, hands curling into my hair, and his lips dark and swollen. He seems too beautiful to be allowed to exist. Enough with thoughts like that though I doubt they’ll stop.

 

 

“My bed or your bed?”

 

 

“I don’t care.”

 

He nods and pushes me back down onto my bed. I don’t think we’ve even fucked in my bed yet. Only his and on the pew in church. He sits between my legs with a small smile on his face. “Are you sure,” I quickly interrupt him and tell him that I’m fucking sure and that I’m also fucking horny so get on with it. He laughs, more like giggles, and positions his body over mine so he can brush our lips together. Then he’s reaching over the side of the bed and grabbing my pants to retrieve the bottle of lube and a condom. I think his hands are shaking again but I’m not going to point it out.

 

“C-can _you_ put it on me?”

 

“Of course, Sunshine.”

 

I take the condom out of his hands and roll it onto his dick in a matter of seconds and then resume to resting on my back, watching as he pops open the bottle of lube, his face suddenly all nervousness. Biting his bottom lip, he spreads my bent legs apart slightly and then warms the lube before making any contact with my ass. Good boy. He meets my eyes with that huge look of nervousness and I tell him to go on. That we don’t have all night. He smiles slightly and nods, Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat as he swallows hard. He places a hand on one of my legs and a finger meets my hole and slides slowly inside. He stops when I tense.

 

“Are you ok, Brian?”

 

I draw in a deep breath, eyes shut, and the two of us are silent as I tell my body to relax. Eventually, it does and I nod my head and tell him to keep going. He doesn’t say a word and his finger slides inside, through the rings of tight muscle, and I’m not sure whether it hurts or if it doesn’t at the moment. I swallow. “Another finger, Justin.” He does as asked, another digit slipping inside, slowly and carefully. And patiently. I stop him a couple of times and I don’t know how one can have so much patience. Then I remember that this is Justin. He’d probably wait for eternity for me to be ready for him.

 

“ _Another_ …”

 

A third finger slips through my hole, gaining access easier then the first two, and it joins the others and he stills. I feel him kiss my knee since he can’t reach my mouth at the moment and he tells me to breathe since I’m breathing so fucking hard. I don’t think my heart has ever beaten this hard before. “Scissor your fingers, Justin.” A moment later he does as I told him to do and I’m a moaning mess. _Holy fuck_. That felt good. “Take ‘em out, Jus.” His fingers slowly slide out of me and he’s positioning his body over mine. His lips devour mind for a few seconds and I feel the blunt head of his cock meet my hole.

 

“Are you ready?”

 

I nod, grip his arms with my hands, and he slowly inches forward, head of his cock sliding inside and then stopping. Fucking **oww**. He looks down at me worriedly and I work up a smile for him. I don’t like seeing him worried like that. “Go, Justin.” He bites his lip and, “Are you sure?” I quickly nod and try not to hurt him by wrapping my legs too tightly around his slim waist as he inches forward again.

**xxx**

**J.T**

Ohmygod. Ohmygodohymygod.

 

Is this really happening? Yes, yes it is. I nearly come as his tight ass muscles squeeze tight around my cock. So, _this_ is what it feels like. I meet his lips with mine and moan into his mouth to keep it quieter than it would have been if I had let it out in the open. I’m sure no one would be able to hear us but I like to be careful. Gasping for breath, I move forward again and don’t stop this time until I’m buried deep inside of him all the way. Then I stop, both our bodies shaking. He roughly grabs my lips with his and I don’t move until he peels his lips away from mine and tells me to go. Slow.

 

 

I ease almost all the way out and ease forward again, moans sliding out of the brunet’s mouth as I do so. I do it again, at the same slow sweet pace. Again and again, angling my hips like he has in the past to hit against his prostate. It must have worked because he’s yells out my name and I quickly cover his mouth with mine to drown the sounds of ecstasy. His hands grip tightly into my hair, slide down my back and grab hold of my ass and as I move out and in again he pushes hard on my ass and shoves me inside of him harder. I take this as a sign to move faster and I do, the nervousness of hurting him filtering out of my mind and the two of us establishing a medium paced rhythm.

 

I grab his cock between our stomachs and begin pumping, matching the snapping of our hips as I dig myself deeper inside of him each time. I squeeze, finger pressing hard against his piss hole, and angle my hips that way again and he’s squeezing around my cock harder than ever making me come inside the condom. He’s not far behind and I collapse heavily on top of his come covered stomach and rest my head just under his chin as I pull out of him and throw the condom somewhere on the floor. I don’t get up because, like each time he fucks me, I don’t want to. Maybe, someday, I’ll actually be able to stay by his side through the night. I lift my head and look down at his face, his eyes are closed and his breathing is slowly going back to normal.

 

“Are you ok?”

 

“I’m fabulous, Sunshine.”

 

“Did I,”

 

“No, you didn’t hurt me.”

 

“Brian?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“If…if I tell you that I love you will you promise to not avoid me tomorrow?”

 

He’s silent for a moment, just looking at me with an unreadable expression. Then he nods.

 

 

“I promise.”

 

“I know I love you.”

 

Instead of “I think I love you” like last time. Because this time – I’m sure.


	11. Ungodly

  


I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.  
 **Genesis 28:15**

**:::::::::::**

**J.T**   


Today: Friday -- _last_ day of camp.

 

****

 

The first thing I do when I wake up is look over at Brian's bed. Just to make sure that he's still _there_. I mean, I guess I kind of figured that he'd be incredibly freaked out about last night. Not only had he left himself vulnerable and totally exposed, he had let me tell him that I love him. And he had said he wouldn't avoid me if I did. I hope he keeps that promise. Except - my stomach sinks when I see that his bed is empty and freshly made. Groaning, I dig my face into my pillow and start screaming at myself, all sounds muffled by the fabric. I should have kept my mouth shut. God, I shouldn't have let him talk me into fucking him. I should have told him to just stick his dick in my ass so everything would be ok right now. I bang my fist once against the bed in an attempt to let out more exasperate anger. I am so **stupid**.

 

 

"Uhh - am I _interrupting_ something?"

 

 

I suddenly stop my muffled-screaming tantrum and look up to meet the familiar raised eyebrow and amused smirk on Brian's face. Now I _feel_ even more stupid than I had before. I blink, slowly pull myself into a sitting position and bundle myself up with the comforter. "You." Now he just looks confused. I don't blame him - I'm not being very specific I guess. "... _Me_." I raise an eyebrow at him as he sits down on the edge of my bed already dressed and ready for the day to begin. "Where were you?" He doesn't say anything more a moment. He's still looking at me with an odd expression. Great - he probably thinks I'm mentally deranged or something. "I...was in the _bathroom_." Yeah, I don't think I've ever felt so stupid in my life. "Oh. I thought,"

 

 

"You thought what?"

 

 

"That you were gone."

 

 

The odd look disappears and a knowing look takes its place and an awkward silence fills the space between us. Maybe I should have worded my statement differently. I reach over and place a hand on his shoulder, slide it up and around the back of his neck and gently caress his mouth with my own. When he pulls back, "You thought wrong." I smile and nod. Tell him that I'm sorry for thinking wrong. He kisses me again, long and slow, hand sliding underneath the comforter and his fingers sliding around my bare cock, dancing up my shaft and working their magic on my turgid member. Soon I'm gasping into his mouth, clutching onto his shoulders, teeth skimming along his throat and coming in the palm of his hand.

 

 

Then I’m in the shower but only because Brian made me. I guess it was a good thing too because as soon as I shut the door to the bathroom I hear Marcus enter our cabin for his routine wake-up call. Man, Brian’s really good at knowing when the moron’s coming. I take a quick shower, get changed, and hurry out of the bathroom. Brian’s packing his stuff when I come out.

 

 

“What’d Marcus say?”

 

 

“That we needed to pack. So we’re already ready when it’s time to go.”

 

 

So, I do the same. I drag my suitcase onto my bed and begin folding my clothes one by one. Slowly. For one, I don’t want to see Marcus any sooner than I have to. Secondly, I don’t want to leave the cabin where we have to go and face the rest of the world. Brian’s mouth descends on my neck while his arms wrap around me from behind and pull me tight against him. He’s obviously hard and ready to get the same treatment that he gave me this morning. 

 

 

“Need some help _packing_ , little boy?”

 

 

I turn; his arms still wrapped around me, so that I’m facing him and push him away, smile on my face. There’s no way that can happen. Not with Marcus coming and going all the time. 

 

 

“I _wish_.”

:::::::::::

 

**B.K**   


The first thought that had crossed my mind when I had woken up that morning was to flee. Leave before Justin woke up but I couldn’t bring myself to do that. Especially since I _promised_ him that I wouldn’t avoid him today. And I don’t break my promises. Never. So, instead I took a shower and pondered over last night, which, by the way, had been very confusing. In an extremely pleasurable great way. Then I thought over what I was going to say when I first saw him. I never usually had trouble talking to guys but…Justin was different.

 

 

Surprisingly, it hadn’t been too hard to talk to him.

 

 

But I had been hard all morning and we both know I can’t get satisfied. Not with Marcus prowling around – annoying asshole. So, after the packing had been done, not the kind of packing I would have liked to have done, we both go outside, to the dining hall, and sit and wait for all the other kids to get here. Once they do one of the other camp leaders goes into a long winded speech about how great camp had been – Yeah, it had been great at night – and how she hoped we would all come next year – I would have liked to have come this morning – and how the rest of the day we were all going to focus on praising God for this wonderful time.

 

 

I guess I did owe Him something for the great sex I had while here.

 

 

And by the rest of the day, she had meant the rest of the day. We had gone to the chapel. Sang. Listened to a million people speak. Give out testimonies. I almost died. Then, after that, we were instructed to get our bags. While we were in our cabin I had swapped some spit with Justin. Some **much needed** spit swapping. Then we were back on the bus, Justin and I were even in the same seats.

 

 

“We’re finally getting out of here.”

 

 

“Yay.”

 

 

He rolls his eyes over at me.

 

 

“Shut up.”

 

 

“You shut up.”

 

 

“ _You_.”

 

 

In all honesty I’m not sure how happy I am about leaving. Sure, I didn’t want to go and I certainly don’t want to stay there. But, when one’s just leaving to go back to Hell the decisions kind of hard. My dad or church. Hard decision. Justin looks over at me, teeth biting his bottom lip, which usually means he’s nervous about something.

 

 

“You know, I meant what I said.”

 

 

“You’ve said a lot in the last five days.”

 

 

He rolls his eyes but smiles slightly and plows on,

 

 

“No, I mean when I said you could hide in my closet.”

 

 

I grin and shrug. “Like _I_ said – I’d love to but you and I both know that that’s ridiculous.” He shrugs and crosses his arms over his chest. We both know I’m right. Like I can hide in his closet for an entire year until I’m eighteen. Yeah right. That’s not possible. “So?” I grin and wish we weren’t in a bus full of people because if we weren’t I’d be kissing the fucking pout that undoes me every time he breaks it out. I settle with a small smile instead. I know, not nearly as awesome.

 

 

“So…thanks for the offer, Sunshine but…I only have a year to go.”

 

 

He frowns over at me.

 

 

“Do you know how much can happen in a year?”

 

 

His voice is slightly louder than before. A few people look over at us and then look away again once realizing that nothing that they’d be interested in was happening. I sigh, “Calm down. It’s ok.” He looks over at me with that said expression he always has on his face whenever we even mention something that has to do with my home life. “I just don’t want you to get hurt – - _worst_.”

:::::::::::

**J.T**   


When we arrive back at the church we wait until everyone is off the bus until we get off. We didn’t want to have to push our way out with everyone else. When we finally do make it out I grab his wrist and pull him away from the other people. My mom isn’t here yet to pick me up and, by the looks of it, his ride isn’t here yet either. I wish it would never come. Most of me hopes that something will happen to keep his parents from coming. That they’ll forget he’s coming home today. That a wreck will happen. That… _something_ will happen so he can have an excuse to come home with me.

 

 

“Here’s how to get to my house from the church,”

 

 

I hand him a scrap of paper, which he takes and slides into his pocket.

 

 

“Just incase you…need to come over.”

 

 

He smiles at me and I’m sure he wanted to kiss me. I can tell by the look on his face and I’m sure my own look mirrors his own but we obviously can’t. I bite at my bottom lip because, as the seconds tick by, I get more nervous and it’s because I know he might not be safe tonight. Because he won’t be with me. Somewhere where he can’t get hurt. He offers me that stupid reassuring smile even though we both know that it doesn’t reassure me a bit and he places a hand on my shoulder, squeezing lightly.

 

 

“I’ll probably be coming over a lot then.”

 

 

Ok, I’ll admit – this makes me feel _slightly_ better. I smile softly up at him and nod my head eagerly. “That’d be nice.” He says ‘tell me about it’ and takes his hand off my shoulder. _Everyone_ knows that just touching shoulders can lead to something much hotter. Between us anyway. Though, I can’t say I’m happy at the loss of contact. I take a step back so distance ourselves and we stand there in comfortable silence, me still nervous as hell, and him just leaning against the wall of the church and waiting for one of us to have to leave.

 

 

It ends up being me first. I smile at my mom as she pulls up, large smile on her face. I pick up my bags and offer Brian one last smile before I leave. Dammit – I don’t want to leave. I can’t just…leave him here. For his fucking parents to pick up and hurt him.

 

 

“…Bye.”

 

 

“Don’t worry – I’ll see you soon. Very soon.”

 

 

I only nod and turn my back on him to head to my moms car.

 

 

“That’s a promise, Taylor.”

 

 

And I know he doesn’t break promises.


End file.
